Pass the Snog 2 potions problems
by Slytherin-phantom-girl
Summary: On the anniversary of Pass the Snog day, the twins have perfected the spell. By mail they slip it into Hogwarts, but what happens when a the Snogging potion and another potion get mixed, bad things , that's what, VERY bad things.
1. trial run

**Pass the Snog (Part 2)**

**A/N:** I'm a poor hobo and own nothing, literally. Thanks to KT the Shimmer Skank for giving us the idea (even though she didn't know it) and writing the original! And all characters owned by JK Rowling, her publishers and whatnot. Also, thanks to spinners-endx for beta-ing!

(It helps if you've read KT the Shimmer Skank's story because this is a sequel.)

**Prologue**

Needless to say, George had told his brother Fred about the prank he'd played on all of Hogwarts. This, well, proceeded in Fred beating him down and cursing him with pimples in certain... –cough- unnatural –cough- places. As uncomfortable as the pimples were, George still smiled at the memory of that fateful day. The same day that would be relived once again since the twins made their pact stating that so long as the name Weasley was, at Hogwarts Pass the Snog day would not die.

"And next year," Fred said, punching is brother, "we'll actually use the spell!" He glared at George, who was cheekily smiling back. "You know you liked that snog." He replied. "Ugh," Fred said, "I bet Filch is a better kisser than you."

"And maybe this year you'll be able to find out." George countered.

Fred sighed, "Just get back to work."

Though the twins had started their joke shop and were constantly working on new products to test on innocent lives, the twins' main researched focused on the infamous Snogging Spell. They'd worked for hours, days, months and never gotten it to work. After a numerous amount of months, crusty lips, loss of voices and other, well, interesting side effects the miracle happened. It was exactly one month before last years Pass the Snog day incident and the Weasley twins had done it. They'd perfected the Snogging Spell. Little did they know what this spell had in store for them.

This is their story.

**Chapter 1: The Trial Run**

"We've got it!"

"No way!"

"I tell you we got it!"

"You're kidding, right!"

"Nope, we did it," George shouted excitedly, "we've performed the Snogging spell correctly!"

"Really! Which one of us has it then?" questioned Fred

"You," said George, beaming, "and you have 28 minutes and 30 seconds... 29 seconds... 28 seconds... 27 seconds..."

"Okay I get it! But this isn't bloody Hogwarts, George! Who the hell am I going to snog...?" Fred said but cut off while Verity walked by. He turned to his twin, "Hold that thought."

"Verity!" he called.

"Yes, Mr. Weasley?"

"Please come here." Fred said slyly

"Yes... Mr. Weasley..." Verity slowly walked toward her boss who grabbed her in a tight embrace and planted a passionate kiss on her. She pushed away. "Mr. Weasley!" Verity shrieked, "What are you doing?" she said wiping her lips.

"Um, market research?" Fred said. "Now you need to kiss someone else within a half an hour or, if we preformed the spell correctly, you will have..." he stopped to think, forgetting the long list, "What will she have again George?"

George opened a piece of parchment and began to read "If one does not perform the snog within one half of an hour, there shall be dropping of the teeth, thy skin shall wrinkle, thou shalt have boils on thy bottom and be subject to the following: night sweats, ringing in the ears, flaking dandruff, arthritis, lumbago, uncontrollable dribbling, deafness, runny nose and ingrown toenails." George finished clearing his throat and closed the parchment.

"All that if I don't snog anyone in half an hour?" Verity said looking quite nervous,

"Well, then, there are some restrictions... yes?"

Fred continued "you can't snog anyone who's already been snogged and it must be a full snog; tongue and all."

Verity looked relieved.

"Why the look?" questioned George

Verity sighed, "I thought you were going to say I had to snog a guy or something."

The twins looked puzzled "You do know that I am lesbian, right?" she said. Verity called Harmony, one of the other female workers over and whispered something into her ear. She giggled and proceeded to snog repeatedly and very passionately.

"Why?" Fred moaned.

"Why what?" George questioned.

"Why are the hot ones always straight as a curly fry?"

"I am not lesbian!" Harmony said approaching George, "I'm bisexual." Harmony leaned in and gave him a good 5-minute snog before going back to her work.

**End chapter**


	2. yes, but did it work?

**Chapter 2**

George was frantic. "Bloody hell! Who am I going to find to snog in half an hour!" He paced the room hysterically, groaning in frustration as he thought of all the side effects.

"No one," said Fred with a devilish grin plastered on his face.

"Exactly! No one!" George sat down in a chair on the borderline of crying from thinking about the pain he would endure from having boils on his bottom.

"No, I mean, you're not going to snog anyone. We have to make sure the spell works!"

"Wha-NO! That's not happening! I do not, I repeat, do NOT want boils on my bottom!" George exclaimed while glaring murderously back at Fred. Fred stood silently, thinking of a way to explain it to George. He snapped his fingers and got onto his knees to beg and plead to his brother.

"You know we have the antidotes to cure all of the symptoms. Just do it! Please! Do it for the sake of children, George! The children!" Fred said quite passionately, his eyes shining with hidden tears waiting to spill out.

"T-the children?" George shrieked, "What do the children have to do with anything we're doing here?"

"Everything, George." Fred replied earnestly, now on the verge on tears. He made the best puppy-dog eyes he could and stared into George's eyes. "All the children who - if you go off and find someone to snog - will never be able to experience a proper snog day at Hogwarts."

George seemed to think this over. "Well, you know how much the children mean to me. I'll do it!" George said, jumping out of his seat and fiercely giving his twin an immense hug.

"Good. And anyway, it's too late now. You only have..." Fred looked down at his watch, "ten... nine... eight... seven... six... five... four... three... two... ONE!"

George's eyes shot open. He stared down, watching as snot dripped viscidly from his nose. 'I think it worked', he tried to say, but when he opened his mouth his teeth dropped out, making it sound like 'Ma mimk mitt murked'.

"Come, we'll let you have a nice sit while I assess the damage." Fred said professionally, leading his twin into their office. George shook his head profusely and pointed downwards.

"Wha-OH... boils on your bottom, eh? I guess we'd better take care of that." said Fred, barely containing his laughter.

- - -

3 hours and many shrieks from George later, Fred and George had successfully removed all boils and snot and had replaced the teeth back into Fred's mouth. They had collected sampled from all of the symptoms (and George can testify that it was quite unpleasant) and had gathered more data for their research. The twins then decided to move on to their next challenge.

"Okay, step one is complete" said George. "Now, step two... make the spell into a potion."

"Is that even possible?" Fred asked.

"It sure is!" George replied, "Why else would the author have added it into the story?"

"Oh, right." He paused. "ARE YOU MAD! You know how long it took us to figure out the spell? We only have a month until Pass the Snog day, you really expect us to make this potion!"

"We can do it, I know we can." George said confidently.

"I guess, but this will mean a lot of late nights and a lot of coffee." sighed Fred.

- - -

So, for the next few weeks, the twins worked changing the snogging spell into the snogging potion in their office/workshop behind the joke shop. They had many potions and ingredients, so many that it looked similar to Snape's dungeons; the only differences being that it was lit up, not a dungeon and there was no awful smell of grease lingering in the air. Anyway, keeping on topic, the twins had a large amount of supplies and items in the room that an accident was prone to happen. The week before Pass the Snog day, they had accomplished their goal.

"I think we've finally got it!" Fred said excitedly, wiping sweat from his brow, "We made a Pass the Snog potion!"

The twins jumped for joy and proceeded in dancing around their laboratory. George, being the clumsier of the two, knocked into the wall by accident, causing a potion to spill its contents into the exact cauldron the Pass the Snog potion was in. A bit spilt to the side and the twins ran to clean it up but neither of the twins noticed it fall into the cauldron.

"Uh, George, being the oh-so-wise one, can you answer me this? How are we going to get this potion into Hogwarts?" Fred questioned.

"Always the logical one, aren't we? Fred, we'll just have to" George paused. He hadn't thought about that. "We'll just have to send it to someone the teachers trust. They can do the dirty work for us."

"Do we know anyone the teachers trust? I don't think we do." Fred said, "All this work for nothing!"

George sat in silence and thought long and hard. "Well, what about Hermione!"

"Perfect." Fred replied.

- - -


	3. The snog setup

**Chapter 3:** **The Snog Setup**

George and Fred paced the room, wondering how to fix the only flaw they had found in their plan.

"How are we going to convince Hermione to go through with this!" asked George, frantically trying to think of a solution.

"Well..." Fred started, "How about the Imperius curse? A simple Imperio will do the trick!"

George stopped and blinked in disbelief at his twin brother. "Are... you... bloody... stupid...?" he asked, starting to pace once more. "We're not imperio-ing her for a snog! I could see us using that curse to get Verity or something but for a snog... never!"

"Don't get your wand in a knot! What's your bright idea, then?"

George stopped again and stood majestically, as if his idea was the best idea in the world. Fred looked at him with eager eyes. "I say... we just simply send it to her." He said smartly.

"Well, why didn't I think of that..." replied Fred. George began to retort since he didn't notice the sarcastic tone in Fred's voice but was cut off by the sound of Fred slapping his forehead. "Maybe because IT WON'T WORK!"

"What if we explain to her what it is and tell her to use it on somebody she absolutely despises. Like Malfoy! Imagine the look on that little buggers face when he's running around the school trying to find someone to snog. It'd be hilarious!"

Fred stopped and thought for a second, a smile slowly spreading across his face. "Yeah, I guess that would work. Imagine Ickle Ronniekins trying to find someone to snog."

"Um... Fred?"

"Yes, George?"

"Bad images."

Fred grimaced. "Oh, you're right."

The twins decided to put together a parcel containing an explanation of all of their work, the potion and some pictures of the side effects, including George's devastating condition. Fred grinned devilishly as he saw the picture mentioned. "I think Hermione will do exactly what we want her to."

- - -

"Fred, we've got a minor problem to fix. How will we know what's going on at Hogwarts when we're here?"

Fred started pacing once more, he always thought better in motion. He stopped abruptly and snapped his fingers, "Tracking charm!"

"Brilliant!" exclaimed George, "We'll put a tracking charm on the potion so when the spell transfers to another person we'll know!"

"This is going to take some more hard work." The twins sighed, they hated hard work or well, any work in general. Of course, the tracking charm was easy as pie but how they were going to make it show was the hard part. After putting the spell on the potion and using their brilliant Weasley twin minds, they set up a wall with every person located on the Hogwarts grounds including professors, students, other staff members and ghosts from Abbott, Hannah to Zippet, Elise. They had pictures of everyone except for the ghosts because let's face it, where are you going to find a well-defined picture of a ghost?

"Wow, that was some hard work." Said George, wiping sweat from his brow.

"Yeah, and to think we set that all up in one paragraph!" Fred said sitting down.

"Oh wait..." the evil author appeared from thin air, "I didn't talk about how it works so you've got a lot more work to do and a lot less time to do it!"

"Aw, man." said the two incredibly sexy twins together.

So, the way they set the tracking charm was that whoever had the snog had their picture highlighted with a few (magical) flashy lights blinking around their name. When they passed the snog, a dash showed up between the two and the flashy lights showed up near their newly highlighted name. By the end of the snog day, the board would and should be all criss-crossed.

The twins collapsed and sighed. "Are we done yet?" they asked, looking up at the sky hopefully.

"Yes" the generous author replied, "well, for now at least." She disappeared from the story with an evil laugh.

"Right, now all we have to do is send this to Hermione." Said Fred hopefully, wanting Pass the Snog day to begin very soon.

- - -

**_At Hogwarts_**

(A/N: it changed to Hermione's perspective now. I'll try to keep it up the whole time.)

I was sitting at the Gryffindor Table in the Great Hall, staring off into space. Okay, I was actually thinking about how cute a certain red-haired guy named Ron looked this morning. Ginny and Harry were sitting next to me taking turns shyly blushing and looking down at their food. Ugh, it was sickening. Why can't Ginny just break up with Dean and Harry get over Cho so that they both see that they're madly in love with each other? So, anyway, there I was, sitting across from Ron – who's looking quite hot; oh, I hope I'm not drooling – when a parcel dropped into my bowl of cereal.

"B-b-but I never get mail! I don't even have an owl!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, who would want to write to the Mudblood? Know-it-alls anonymous? Mudblood brigade? Or maybe it's Weaslebee's dad? You know, he's such a big fan of Muggles and all." Draco Malfoy said smirking as he walked past our table.

"Shut up Malfoy." Said Ron through gritted teeth. Oh, I love him.

"Right, no need to waste time with inferiors." Malfoy replied, turning to Crabbe and Goyle. He turned his head to the Slytherin table and stared at Pansy. "If anyone here who isn't poor (he turned his head to glare at Ron), doesn't have an odd skin disorder (he glared at Ginny and Harry who started blushing once again) or isn't a Mudblood (he sneered at me) needs me, I'll be waiting in Herbology." Pansy didn't look up.

I ignored him, turned pack to my package and unfolded the letter.

_Dear Hermione,_

_Hope all is well. Remember Pass the Snog day last year? Well, the anniversary is coming up so we've decided to restart it again and make it a regular Hogwarts tradition. Inside is our Pass the Snog potion that we've created and some other stuff like pictures of the side effects and an explanation. We suggest you start it off by giving it to someone you hate (Malfoy, preferably). And it's being tracked, so we'll know when it starts, who has it and who's snogged who. Enjoy and best wishes._

_Gred and Forge._

Were they kidding? I can't believe that actually managed to create the potion. Not that they're stupid or anything because they definitely aren't, but it's just amazing. My face lit up, a slow (possibly evil... you never know) smile appeared on my face. "Hey Malfoy, wait up!" I yelled, sprinting out of the Great Hall and after him.

- - -

**And so, Pass the Snog day begins in Chapter 4!**

**Remember this takes place during Book 6.**

**Also, please review! -insert author and beta's sad faces here-**


	4. Snog Starting Point

Just a quick note: _Italics Hermione's thoughts._ Chapter 4: The Starting Point

"What do you want mudblood?" Draco asked, suspiciously eyeing the package.

"I-it's just..." '_Think fast Hermione... GOT IT!_'"It's just... I saw how Pansy was eyeing Blaise and I thought I could help. I know how much you like her and everything so I, being the smartest witch of our year, well, figured I could help." I finished staring anxiously.

"Now, even if I did want your help, which I'm not saying I do, why would you want to help me, Granger?" Draco said. '_Why couldn't he just be stupid and take the potion?_'

"Because… because… because... I like Blaise! And I don't want Pansy with him," I must admit I was pretty good, but I couldn't help but blush when I said it.

"So you'll help me so you can get Blaise?" Malfoy stood and thought for a second. "Sure, why not? I hate Blaise, I hate you - you two deserve each other. So, what's the plan?" Malfoy grimaced.

"All you have to do is drink this." I said holding out the potion to him.

"How-how-how does it work?" Draco asked, his hand reaching out for the potion.

"All you have to do is drink this; it's a mixture of a love potion and Amortentia. Pansy won't be able to keep her hands off of you." I said, noticing that I sounded quite like a door-to-door saleswoman.

"I'm not sure..." Malfoy said, considering the idea, "I still don't know why you would want to help me."

"Because... I LOVE HIM!" I yelled, grabbing Malfoy's collar and shaking him furiously "I FRICKIN LOVE HIM!" I sighed, "Never mind, I guess you don't understand." I said making my eyes get all watery, a very handy technique I learned from the girls in the Gryffindor dormitories. I looked away from him and dropped my head in defeat, making a mental note to thank Parvati and Ginny who taught me this trick.

Malfoy stared at me. "Alright, I'll drink it. Not for you though. As long as it won't hurt me because if it does, Granger, I swear..." He took the cork off the tiny bottle the potion was in. "And if you ever tell anyone about this, you'll be hexed into oblivion. I doubt anyone would believe a Mudblood anyway." Draco smirked and chugged the potion down.

"Well, I don't feel any different." He stated.

"YES!" I screamed in victory as I pumped my fist in the air triumphantly. "Here you go Malfoy." I said as I handed him the folder with the explanations, directions and pictures of George. I then proceeded to… run away, like the mad woman I was. I ran straight back into the Great Hall and sat back down at the table; panting and smiling widely.

"Um, 'Mione... What's with that smile? It's sort of... freaking me out." said Harry who had actually decided to take his eyes off Ginny for more than five seconds.

"Nothing." I said trying to sound convincing.

"Spill it.," Ginny said. Of course, I'd failed at convincing. I mean, I'm pretty much the worst liar in the world. "Everyone knows you can't lie." She said looking to Harry for support, or was it just an excuse to look at Harry? I don't know really.

I sighed, "Fine... well do you guys remember the Pass the Snog day last year?"

"Oh yeah! Isn't the anniversary of that coming up? I heard the Seamus was- OUCH!" said Ron as he was elbowed by Harry.

"Hermione please say you didn't..." Ginny said, "Did you really enjoy kissing Myrtle that much because I mean-"

"No! Ew, that was disgusting!" I said shuttering as I remembered what happened last year. "Fred and George sent me a package with a Pass the Snog Day Potion that they created and a folder that I was supposed to give to whomever I gave the potion to. It had directions and proof that this is no joke. So anyway, when I ran out of the Great Hall after Malfoy I told him come stupid story about how I wanted to help him get Pansy from Blaise and all he had to do was drink this potion that I had. He bought it. Malfoy drank the potion, I gave him the folder and he has half an hour to Pass the Snog." I concluded, grinning madly and feeling very proud of myself.

"But why on Earth would Malfoy believe that you wanted to help him?" questioned Harry.

"That's easy! I told Malfoy I'm in love with Blaise," I said as if the answer were obvious.

Harry choked on his toast, Ginny spit out her pumpkin juice and Ron sat shocked.

"Bloody hell," Ron said looking kind of sad.

Does that mean that he likes me! Oh well, I'll have to figure that out later. Right now, I've got to put any Hermy/Blaise rumors to bed before they start spreading like wildfire.

"Guys... you do know that that all was a story, right? Why would I like a Slytherin, especially one from this year? I mean, I'm all for the house unities and all but really, I'd never fall for any Slytherin's' this year." I said chuckling at the looks on all of their faces.

"Oh right... that's what I thought. Well I didn't want to say... well you get it! I'm glad we cleared that up." said Harry as the color slowly started returning to his face.

"Yep. Well, best be off to Transfiguration. We can't make Mcgonagall angry on a day like this; especially with what happened with last years snog day." I said clapping my hands. The others mumbled replies along the lines of "Yeah, poor Minnie" and "Ugh, that was just gross." Okay, so they were still a bit shocked over the whole Hermione-'loves'-Blaise thing. Like that'd ever happen. Or maybe they were shocked at the fact that I was practically skipping down the halls giddily chanting, "Oh, this is going to be loads of fun!"

And with that Harry, Ron and I said goodbye to Ginny and went (well, I skipped) off to class. This was going to be a very interesting day.

**A/N:** Remember people, Hermione DOES NOT have the snog. Malfoy has it.


	5. Mistlelips

Chapter 5: Mistlelips 

"George, come here!" Fred yelled looking at their snog-tracker log.

"What?" George said running in to their workshop.

"Mione (**a/n**: that's Hermione for the clueless (a.k.a. most of my friends from school) did it! Malfoy has the snog." Fred replied pointing to the wall with the now highlighted picture of Malfoy.

"Brilliant," George said, "well done 'Mione."

- - -

Draco opened the folder and quickly scanned the papers it contained. "Shit." he said. His eyes fell upon pictures. "Double shit." he said.

"What's wrong, Draco?" Crabbe said looking concerned.

Draco opened his mouth to speak but as he did Professor Sprout opened the door to the greenhouse.

"In, in now! Thank you!" called Professor Sprout over the herd if students as they entered greenhouse 5.

She cleared her throat as the students took their places on the benches around the large wooden table located in the center of the greenhouse. "Quiet. QUIET!" said the flustered Professor Sprout, "Very unruly this group is... my goodness." She banged a pot to gather the classes' attention. "Good Morning 6th years. Now, today, we will be performing a spell that protects Mistletoe from Nargles. In order for you to do this, you will need to get into pairs. One student will be performing the protection spell and the other will be performing an engorgement charm to make the mistletoe nice and plump for the Hogwarts Christmas decorations."

"Hey, I find that offensive!" Squeaked Jacob Liechtenstein.

"Who the bloody hell are you?" asked Malfoy, he knew everyone in Slytherin house and this boy did not look at all familiar.

"Well, I am a character that Slytherin-phantom-girl added because she wants to know why they never talk about Jewish holidays or have kids with Jewish sounding names in these books." Jacob explained.

"Oh, continue on then," said Malfoy continuing the conversation he was previously having with Crabbe and Goyle.

"Right then." said Jacob Liechtenstein, "Where was I? Oh yes, I find that offensive! Why is there never a Passover break at Hogwarts and what ever happened to Yom Kippur, you know? Why wasn't I allowed to celebrate my Bar Mitzvah here? I'M 17 AND I STILL HAVEN'T HAD MY BAR MITSVAH!"

"Oh that's a very easy question to answer," Professor Sprout replied.

"Okay, why then," asked Jacob.

"Well… because…oh let's get back on topic this has absolutely no relevance to the plot of this Fan Fiction," Professor Sprout said dodging the question.

"Fine." Jacob sighed as he slowly disappeared from the story.

"As I was saying... wait, what was I saying? Oh well you know what to do, get to work. We've already wasted 24 minutes with all this political correctness," Professor Sprout said.

"25 MINUTES!" Malfoy hollered in shock. He started doing the calculations in his head... he had drunk the potion 2 minutes before Professor Sprout opened the door to the greenhouse which would mean that he had… 3 minutes left to snog someone. Draco's eyes darted around the room. '_Who to snog? Who to snog? Pansy! No, this was the one chance he had to snog someone other than her. Who to snog? 2 and a half minutes... Is that a boil forming on my butt? Um... Hm... Millicent Bulstrode? Shoot me now!_ _Snogging. Who to snog! 1 minute... oh no.''_

- - -

Fred sat in a lounge chair in front of the wall and checked his watch. "30 seconds Malfoy, better hurry. George! Get back in here! Malfoy's got 25 seconds!"

George rushed in, conjured a lounge chair and laid back. He checked his own watch and began to countdown. "10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1... Brilliant!" The flashy lights switched names and blinked, a new name was highlighted and a line formed just in time.

Fred and George burst into hysterics and doubled over; rolling off their lounge chairs with tears streaming from their eyes when they saw the new name that was highlighted. "I wish we could have been there," Fred choked out. George nodded his agreement still unable to talk.

- - -

Crabbe pushed himself away from Malfoy. The whole class burst out laughing.

"Mr. Malfoy, I know that when you are under the mistletoe it is tradition to kiss, but under these circumstances it was completely inappropriate." Professor Sprout said trying to keep a straight face "T-ten points from Slytherin. Please keep your relationships to yourself next time. Now, class if you'll excuse me I have to go to the tool shed for a moment." Professor Sprout walked into the tool shed and her laughing could be heard throughout the Hogwarts grounds.

'_Great_,' Malfoy thought, '_I'm now the school laughing stock, I lost 10 points for my house and I kissed another guy. The only good thing about this is that Potty, Weasel Bee and Mudblood aren't here. Well, that and the fact that I don't have boils on my butt.'_

"Um... M-Malfoy... you wouldn't... care to explain what just happened, would you? U-unless, of course, you're gay... then you wouldn't have to explain. I mean... I always thought you were b-but..." Crabbe stammered.

Malfoy snapped out of his train of thought. "I AM NOT GAY YOU DIMWIT!" He shoved the folder that Hermione had given him into Crabbe's hands. "Yours now." smirked Malfoy, gladly giving it away.

Crabbe slowly opened the folder and read….or rather attempted to read. "Bloody hell." he said slowly "So I've only got…."

"A half an hour. Actually..." Malfoy checked his watch, "now you have 27 minutes."

"BLOODY HELL!" yelled Crabbe.

By now, the whole class had quieted around them.

"Hang on..." said Goyle who was still trying to figure out why his two best mates had just snogged each other. "The last time random snogging happened and there was a time limit-"

"It was Pass the Snog day," said Pansy excitedly clapping her hands together. "Is it true, Draco?"

"Yes..." Draco sighed.

They were interrupted by Professor Sprout who had now finished her 'little giggle fit'. She came back into the room just in time to hear what oh-so-glorious day it was. "Shit" was the only thing she said before she lost consciousness.

- - -

Back at the Weasley's joke shop, Fred and George had recovered and sat back on their lounge chairs still smiling whenever they looked at the board.

"Verity!" called George.

"Yes, Mr. Weasley?" she said leaving about 6 feet between them, afraid to be snogged fiercely once more.

"I'm putting you and Harmony in charge of the shop today." George said.

"Yes sir, Mr. Wealsey!" Verity said looking excited as she left.

"Fred...," George said turning to face his twin.

"Yes, George?" asked Fred turning to face his brother.

"I have a feeling today is going to be a very good day." George said leaning back in his lounge chair and conjuring up some popcorn.

**A/N: Okay, we're into the main plot now, people. I have my list and all that, though you are welcome to send me suggestions. Just don't get mad if they don't end up in the story because I already have 36 pairs. Well, 1 down 35 to go. And if you think it's good now just wait til you find out some of the side effects of this potion. :) Just a little twist that'll happen later. Here's a little equation for all of you readers: reviews + suggestions faster updates. **

**I plan to have each snog be a chapter, so this is going to be a pretty long fic. If you're into it, you're in for the long run.**

**Reviews make the author and the beta/co-writer very happy! So happy that they'll update more often...**


	6. Pansy Problems

A/n: _italics Draco's thoughts_

A/N: thanks for all the reviews, and just like I promised, here's a chapter nice and fast, you see how easy that is?

Chapter 6 Pansy Problems 

"I must go inform Professor McGonagall, class dismissed." Said Professor Sprout as she ran out of the greenhouse into the main building of Hogwarts.

"Right then," said Millicent Bulstrode, she loved seeing Malfoy in pain, "if it is Pass the Snog day then why didn't you just snog you're girlfriend, you know Pansy."

"HEY you're right Millie! Why didn't you snog ME Draco?" Pansy whined, "Is it because I'm not a good kisser, because I can get better."

Oh far from it thought Draco, Pansy has to be the best kisser I knew. She did this thing…well anyway we won't get into that. But now that I think about it that kiss with Crabbe was really nice, why hadn't I done that sooner…oh well maybe I'll do it again sometime. 

"No it's not that, it's just…." Draco said.

"It's just what?" Pansy squealed she was in hysterics, "just that you didn't want to kiss your own girlfriend, you were just THAT desperate for something new that you decided to see how you best mate kissed? I HATE YOU DRACO MALFOY!" Pansy walked around the table and with all her might slapped Draco across the face. She turned away and went toward Millie.

Draco heard her mumble, "I should have gone out with Blaise when I had the chance."

Draco's first reaction after all of this was of course ouch, but after that he thought he would have been mad at Pansy or at least disappointed with her for making such a scene but he wasn't. His mind just kept slipping back to his kiss with Crabbe, why had he never noticed Crabbe's beautiful brown eyes, the were so rich they almost looked yellow, like honey. Wait was he just talking about Crabbe's eyes! And why wasn't he trying to get Pansy back.

Draco cleared his throat, "does that mean it's over between us?"

"Normally I would have said no, but seeing the way you were just ogling Crabbe, I have to say yes Draco. Why couldn't you just kiss me? What did I do? I THOUGHT I LOVED YOU DRACO!"

Crabbe turned to Goyle and said " so all of this just because Draco kissed me, I mean it wasn't as if he enjoyed. Neither did I." Crabbe shuddered at the thought.

"Yea," said Goyle thinking about it, or trying to think about it, " it's pretty much all your fault, or at least it's Draco's fault that he snogged you and not her."

"Hang on, watch this" Crabbe said, pulling up his pants trying to look manly. He stepped over to Pansy, pulled her out of Millicent's arms. Pansy's cheeks were all wet; Crabbe whipped then clean in an almost human way and then pulled her into his chest. He then proceeded to snog her in a way that seemed almost gorilla-ish, Pansy quickly pushed away and spat off to the side.

"EWWWWWWWWWWW," she shrieked. "Why'd you do that?"

"Well you were upset that Draco snogged me instead of you, so I snogged you that way in some distant form Draco snogged you." Crabbe concluded sounding unnormally smart.

Fred and George gasped as the dashed line moved from Crabbe and went to the now highlighted Pansy.

"Draco's gonna kill him," said Fred.

"Thanks mate, that was real nice," said Draco patting Crabbe on the shoulder. The whole herbology class, who were still in the greenhouse because of all the interesting things that happened, stood in awe.

Pansy then proceeded to slap both of them. She turned back to Millicent for comfort.

Draco caught himself staring at Crabbe and almost crying because Pansy had slapped him and Crabbe gently touched his cheek where Pansy had slapped him, for his first kiss with a girl he didn't think he did that bad…. he'd never was his cheek again.

"Fred, I think we've made a terrible mistake," said George. "We are going to leave horrible images in the minds of the poor innocent fan fic readers."

"You know George", Fred said slowly shaking his head, " I think you might be right."

A/N: sorry this is really short, this only so much you can say about Crabbe, the rest will be longer I promise. Has anyone caught on to what the mystery potion does yet, hope I didn't make it too too obvious, oh well. R and R!


	7. Pansy's Party

Chapter 7: Pansy's Party 

**A/N: I have heard your cries my minions and so here it is CHAPTER 7!**

**A/A/N: There are some trashy parts in here and strong language. So if you don't like... don't read. If you don't mind... READ ON!**

Pansy was in the middle of being comforted by Millie when Crabbe tapped her on the shoulder.

"Um, Pansy," he said, suddenly he found it hard to speak to her, he wondered why. "This is for you," Crabbe said as he clumsily handed her the folder and started blushing.

Pansy then proceeded to take the folder from him and used it to slap him across the face. Crabbe yelled in pain and blood trickled down his face. I mean, let's admit it, paper/folder cuts really do hurt. He looked at Pansy and blinked back the tears. _'I must be manly, I must be manly... I am so not doing the metrosexual thing like Draco.'_ Pansy tossed the folder toward her schoolbag, to distraught to care what it said.

"Millie, HOLD ME!" she cried out quite dramatically.

"Um, Pansy... I AM HOLDING YOU!"

"Oh... right... knew that…" she blubbered.

Goyle cleared his throat to gather attention because everyone, including the author, forgot he was there.

"Um, I hate to ruin this but we have to go to Potions," Greg said.

"No," Draco corrected, "You, Pansy, Millie and Crabbe have to go to Potions. I'm stuck with a free period." "I wonder if Professor Slughorn will let me sit in the back of Potions because I have a free period." Draco thought aloud.

"Why would you want to freely sit in on potions?" asked Millie, stunned.

"No reason," he said staring directly at Crabbe. '_Right into his dreamy eyes...' _Draco thought.

"Right, then," Crabbe said slowly backing away, "we'd better be… going." he said and took off in a sprint away from Draco. Draco then cried, like a little girl, and everyone laughed, including the author (and beta/co-writer). HA! Draco ran like a little girl who had just been dumped; he ran through Hogwarts to the Slytherin common room and stumbled into his Prefect room. He slammed the door shut directly after put up his fluffy pink Do Not Disturb Sign he only put up when he was extremely distressed. It's not like anyone would want to disturb him though. I mean he is Draco after all; he only has so many friends.

"Well, you're mean," said Draco still weeping, "and people say I'M evil."

"Why, thank you," said the author of doom who then ran away from Hogwarts and all the way home to New Jersey to yell at her lazy beta. "Now where was I?"

Ah, right…..Back to the story…..

Pansy sat in Potions not doing her work, of course. She was Pansy Parkinson; she didn't have to do work. She was in a 5th Year Potions class and would get the work off some stupid fifth year at the end of class. With nothing better to do, she quickly read (who knew it was possible? I guess those gossip magazines would pay off someday) the folder Crabbe had given her. She wiped the blood off first, of course.

"Uck, this is so gross," she muttered under her breath.

- - -

Meanwhile, Fred and George sat quite comfortably back at their shop; wearing sunglasses and straw hats, leaning back in their chairs and drinking Pina Colatas with little drink umbrellas.

"She's got 2 minutes." Fred said, checking the clock.

"Hurry up, you whore," George said.

Fred fell of his chair. "GEORGE! LANGUAGE!" he said, "THIS IS A CHILDREN'S FIC!"

"No it's not." George said.

"Oh, okay then proceed."

- - -

Pansy had just figured this out too. But there was nothing to fear; after all she was, as I said before, Pansy Parkinson. She could have any guy she wanted in this room. '_After all, I am –sizzle- HOT!'_ She looked around, spotted her target and quickly made her way over to the table across her.

"Blaise," she called as sexily as she could in a loud whisper, "Come here."

He did as instructed and made his way to the isle where Pansy stood. Pansy pulled him into her and snogged him better then she had ever snogged Draco. Millie cheered and the fifth years gasped. Pansy got so into it that she pulled Blaise down onto the ground in the aisle of the potions dungeon. They then proceeded to... make out, extensively. They hit table after table when, all of the sudden, Pansy was covered in a white... sticky... moist… potion (you sicko's!).

Slughorn, who finally snapped out of his daze, noticed the whole class had stopped working and then began to, with much effort, separate the two. "Guess someone made a bit of a strong love potion, didn't they?" he said grinning at the two, "Just don't let it happen during class again."

Crabbe, who'd been watching the entire time, looked down at his potion and cried. Can you believe that? The git actually cried! Anyway, seeing as tears weren't one of the ingredients of the potion they had been mixing, the cauldron ended up exploding and spreading the white, sticky potion everywhere. Crabbe, Pansy and Blaise got up - sticky and soaking - with hideous burns all over their faces. "I guess we should go to the Hospital Wing." Blaise said. "Yeah... that'd be good." Pansy replied. Blaise and Pansy walked off and Crabbe silently followed, holding in his tears that were begging to come out.

- - -

"I wonder if Draco was okay with all of this," Fred said, looking up at the new updated Wall of Snogness (A/N: it has a name!).

"Who cares?" replied George grinning furiously.

A/N: Hope this one is a little longer. Trust me, they'll get better after I start hitting more interesting characters or character's I like. Please review and don't forget the algebraic formula: R + S U (and for all of you who're failing algebra/math like miss beta/cowriter; it's Reviews + Suggestions Update... or, Reviews + Suggestion U make us get off our lazy arses and write another chappie. : )


	8. In the Hospital Wing

M A/N: Happy Ramakwanzachrismaka everyone!

**Chapter 8 In the Hospital Wing**

Pansy and Blaise walked up to the hospital wing hand in hand. Blaise had always liked Pansy but she had always been with Draco. It wasn't that he was afraid of Draco, it's just Draco had connections. I mean, his dad is a death eater, he could probably ask Voldemort to smite him or something. _'Pansy's the one who made the first move... so Draco can't possibly get mad at me.'_ They walked together gazing into each other's eyes and taking turns grinning at each other. Even though they were covered in some random potion they didn't care, they were happy.

Crabbe followed behind, furious at himself and at Pansy. "Stupid…. dumb…. retard…. wimpy baby…. crying…." he mumble under his breath. All he wanted to know was how Pansy could fall for Blaise. _'Sure, I may not be the best Slytherin but couldn't she show some interest in me? Oh, who am I kidding... I look like a rabid gorilla and my IQ is a little higher than a sponge.' _

They walked for a few minutes longer - Pansy and Blaise continuing their incredibly sickening romantic staring contest and Crabbe following behind, wallowing in self-pity.

Finally, they reached the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey was tending to someone inside of a white curtain while Ginny sat outside looking anxious.

She looked at the three who were standing quite pathetically in wet robes that were dripping with an unknown, gross-looking substance. "Madam Pomfrey... some people are in need of your care." She glanced at Crabbe whose face looked like charred lace. "... _desperate_ need of your care."

Madam Pomfrey bustled out and looked at Crabbe. '_Oh dear...'_ she thought. "Alright, come with me." Crabbe followed her leaving Pansy and Blaise outside with Ginny.

"I love you my Blaisey-waisy-poo."

"I love you too Pansy-kins."

The two giggled like two schoolgirls and Ginny rolled her eyes, become nauseous at the scene in front of her. She cleared her throat loud and obnoxiously so that it could even rival Umbridge's.

The two snapped out of their trance and glared at the poor girl.

"What do _you_ want?" asked Pansy.

"Well, I'd like for you to stop acting so... disgusting. I'm going to be violently sick if you continue."

"Good thing we're in the hospital wing then," Pansy said and continued to stare lovingly at Blaise. Madam Pomfrey stepped out followed by Crabbe whose face had gotten red and puffy, a side-effect to the potion she used, so he looked like a giant red balloon on legs. Pomfrey nodded at Pansy and said, "You next, dear."

Pansy stared at Crabbe and shook her head violently.

"Oh, don't worry. I promise you won't look like that."

"O-okaay..." she replied, still looking at Crabbe.

'_She can't take her eyes off me! Yes, take that Blaise.' _thought Crabbe, obviously not knowing that his head looked like a large, plump berry. He stood up straight and smugly looked at Blaise.

Blaise and Ginny stared at Crabbe and burst out in laughter. A rabid gorilla with a plump red head trying to look tough? Crabbe looked down and frowned. '_Ouch, my non-existing pride.'_

Crabbe, desperately changed the subject... 'So, Blaise, enjoying Pass the Snog day?'

Blaise's eyes widened and he looked as if they were about to pop out of his sockets. "PASS THE SNOG DAY! You're kidding me, right?"

"No, my brothers spent the past year trying to make the spell, not like last year." Ginny said, "Well, it worked and today's Pass the Snog day. Pansy snogged you, right?"

Blaise nodded. "Yeah, well, you've got the Snog."

Blaise shook his head. '_Oh, I'm guessing I've only got a few minutes left. Alright, who should I snog? Crabbe? NO! Ginny? No, she's a Gryffindor! Madam Pomfrey? Well, she's the only one... Uck... I can't believe I'm doing this but I guess I'll have to. Who knows what the side effects are?'_

- - -

Back at the Weasley's shop...

"Eight minutes, Fred. EIGHT MINUTES!" George exclaimed.

"I know the tension is killing me!"

George looked at Fred. "Is it really?"

"George, just shut up and pass the popcorn." Fred said. George threw the bowl of popcorn at Fred, or at least tried to; it ended up spilling all over the ground. Fred sat on the floor and ate the popcorn one piece at a time. "Thanks mate."

"Anytime."

- - -

While the whole popcorn fiasco was going on, Pansy had come out of the curtain completely healed with her face looking like it normally did. Madam Pomfrey looked at Blaise and said, "You next." Blaise followed and sighed... '_Here it goes.'_

"Sit on the cot and put the towel on your face while I go get the potion to help those burns." She walked toward her cabinet and took out a bottle while Blaise picked up the damp cloth and placed it on his head. '_How should I do this? Just grab her and snog her? Yeah, that'll work." _Madam Pomfrey came closer, lifted the towel and began placing the potion on Blaise's face.

Blaise leaned forward and was 3 inches away from Madam Pomfrey when she yelled "BLAISE ZABINI! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING!" She stepped back and glared at him. "That's 50 points from Slytherin. Attempting to snog the school nurse... you must be out of your mind."

'_I need to snog someone! Oh... well, here it goes.' _Blaise jumped off the cot and ran out. He spotted his target and ran up to her. '_Hope this time it works.'_ He pushed her up against the wall and snogged her senseless until 40 seconds later, he released her. "Happy Snog Day, Ginny." He went back to Madam Pomfrey and finished getting healed while Ginny stood against on the wall panting and Pansy stood four feet away, both shocked and appalled by what had just happened.

- - -

"GINNY!" the twins shouted in unison.

"That's worse than Ron!" Fred shouted, "Wait, no it's not."

"Who knows who else she's snogged!"

"She snogged a Slytherin!"

"Oh, wait until she hears from us about this."

"I can't believe this!"

"You think I can!"

"GINNY!"

- - -

Ginny swore she heard a voice calling her name from far away. Pansy stared at Ginny. "You just snogged my boyfriend and you're just going to stand there? At least apologize to me!"

"For what?"

"For snogging my boyfriend in front of me!" whined Pansy.

"Yeah, apologize to her!" Crabbe said. '_I am SO getting points in her book for this.' _

"SHUT UP!" the two girls said together. '..._Or not.'_

"Whatever, I don't need to apologize to you. He's the one who just randomly snogged me. Ugh. Well, I need to go find someone else to snog. Bye." Ginny said smirking as she left with a bounce in her step, she headed down to lunch.

- - -

"Who was it again... who snogged our poor, innocent Ginny?" Fred said playing the role of the protective brother.

"According to the Wall o' Snogness, Blaise Zabini," George informed his infuriated brother.

"Blaise Zabini... BLAISE ZABINI! Isn't he a girl?"

"That is wrong on SO many levels, Fred." George said shaking his head in awe.

**A/N: So there you go, and for those of you who sent me guesses as to what the potion does YOU'RE ALL WRONG! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**


	9. Ginny the Red Haired Wonder

**A/N: most of the pairings on this story are a bit odd, but I just had to put a few of my fav. ships in here so, here you go. **

**CA/N: yay for good ol' canon ships! Enjoy.**

A/N: CA/N: is a co-author's note Chapter 9: Ginny, the Red Haired Wonder 

Ginny was incredibly excited about having the snog but you couldn't tell unless you somehow went inside her head. _'I have the snog! I have the snog! OH MY GOSH, I have the frickin' snog!'_ Inside, she was like Colin and Dennis Creevey on last years snog day - annoyingly giddy. _'Oh, I have to remember to get Fred and George extra dung bombs for Christmas. They're absolutely brilliant!_'

She skipped down the corridor, waving to everyone in sight. Friends, people she didn't know. Hell, she managed to scare fifteen first years and one angry Professor Snape all in one walk down the hall. _'Must get to lunch... Must find... Hm, who am I going to snog?'_ She went through the endless list of snogable boys at Hogwarts until her brain stopped at one. _'Harry Potter.'_ She smiled. _'Finally... the moment I've been waiting for.'_

Ginny made her way to lunch and coolly slid her way down the Gryffindor table and on the bench next to Hermione. 'Hey Hermi, you know where the boys would happen to be?" Ginny said trying to sound uninterested.

"Harry's in the common room if that's what you want to know. You better hurry up, you only have 15 minuets left." She said not looking up from her food and latest copy of _Wonderful Witch._ Ginny opened her mouth to tell her to go be with Ron but at that exact moment she saw Colin Creevey enter the Great Hall. "EEP!" Ginny said as she ran the opposite way of her stalker. "ONWARD TO HARRY!" Ginny ran off in a flurry of red hair up to the Gryffindor common room.

Ginny ran until she reached the Fat Lady's portrait. She gave the password ('_bugaloo_') and calmly went into the common room, spotting Harry and Ron instantly. "Oh... Hello Harry, Ron, fancy meeting you here."

"Hey Ginny." Harry said smiling at her.

"'Lo. What do you want?" Ron replied. '_Must get rid of him... Oh, of course!'_

"Ron, Hermione's looking for you downstairs." Ron's ears perked up and he jumped off the couch. "Well, Harry, Ginny, I'll see you two later." He ran out of the common room leaving Harry and Ginny alone. Ginny took a seat next to Harry on the couch.

"So... Harry..."

"Um, yeah?"

"You know 'bout the snog day, right?"

"Yeah, 'Mione told us a breakfast, remember? You don't know who's got the snog, do you?" Harry said looking nervously around the common room. The last thing he wanted was for so stupid little first year to come up and snog him. He remembered last year when all these girls kept grabbing him and snogging him saying they had the snog but they really didn't. Harry was humiliated, Ron thought it was bloody hilarious and Hermione, being the odd girl that she was, suggested he used the opportunity to practice snogging because she'd heard from Cho that he needed the practice. Harry zoned back into what Ginny was saying.

"I might just have an idea who has the snog." she said, smiling one of those smiles that made Harry want to blush.

"Oh... um, really? Who?" Harry said nervously, avoiding Ginny's eyes, "It's not a first year, is it?"

"Haha, no... I don't think any first years have gotten it so far. I know that Crabbe snogged Pansy, Pansy snogged Blaise and Blaise snogged..." Ginny trailed off. '_Why is this so hard!'_

"Blaise snogged who?" Harry asked.

"Me. Blaise snogged me."

Harry's eyes grew. '_No... she can't like Blaise! He's a Slytherin... a friend of Draco's... oh, this is not happening.'_

"Well, he kind of just grabbed me and snogged me before he ran out of time. It happened so quickly. He tried to snog Madam Pomfrey first though. Lost 50 points from Slytherin."

Harry managed a weak chuckle. '_Ah, she'd never want me. She's probably here to look for Dean or someone else to snog.'_

"Well, I'll just get going now." Harry said, standing up.

"NO! Don't leave yet." Ginny pushed him down, "Wait a few minutes... please?" She flashed her infamous puppy dog eyes and Harry smiled.

"Um, okay. Right then. I'll sit back down." Harry said as if mesmerized. "So... then, have you, erm, passed the snog?" Harry said trying to sound casual but failing miserably.

"Ask me again in a minute," Ginny said smiling as she grabbed the collar of Harry's shirt and proceeded to snog him... and snog him... oh, and then they snogged some more. The two broke apart gasping for breath, both blushing and very happy. Harry didn't know what Ginny was thinking. '_Calm down.'_ he told himself, 'S_he only did that because she had to get rid of the snog, it doesn't mean anything and remember she's Ron's little sister, is she really worth losing your **cough cough **over?'_

Ginny sat there on the coach next Harry smiling. Inside, she was worried. '_Why isn't he saying anything? Oh no, he must not have liked it!' _Ginny blushed even more. 'Harry... I've... uh... got to go to class now." She said as she ran out of the common room.

- - -

At the shop Fred and George had been watching the Wall of Snogness absorbedly to see who their dear sister would choose to snog. When the line moved... well... they weren't exactly... calm.

"GINNY AND HARRY!" Fred exclaimed; his eyes were wide with shock. "Well... we knew it was going to happen someday... but still!"

"Ron must be furious! His best friend and our younger sister..."

"Ginny and Harry... wow."

"Well, hey. She's the first one out of the Weasley's to snog the Boy Who Lived. Unless... little Ronniekins is hiding something from his older brothers."

Fred grimaced. "GEORGE, STOP WITH THE BAD IMAGES!"

"Sorry, mate... couldn't help it." George grinned at his brother.

"Whatever." Fred rolled his eyes. "Now let's see who Harry snogs. Then we'll have something to tease him about next summer."

- - -

Everyone in the common room had their eyes on Harry, waiting to see what he would do. Being the boy who lived he had to do something amazing and impressive, so, he sat there, on the coach, staring into the nothingness with his mouth open.

**A/N:** **shakes head boys, so clueless. it's sad. sometimes, I actually pity them. Anyway, R and R everyone, next chapter soon. Oh, and by the way, me and my beta (spinners-endx) decided we are throwing a fanfiction party when we hit 100 reviews. I love all the reviewers we have and no flames, YAYS! And no one has gotten what the potion does right yet but you'll find out in a few chapters., until then, keep guessing and reviewing!**

**CA/N: we really want to have our party. So yeah, review. :P i mean, free cookies and beverages for all. what could be better:**


	10. Dean Fights Back

A/N: yea this is a weird, twisted very odd, I must have been on something when I came up with it chapter. So please don't yell at me! Just review, hopefully not flaming, maybe it you guys don't like it. I'll try to write something semi-normal. Enjoy! Disclaimer: um... major props to whoever made 'all your pie', the flash movie 'cos there's a little reference to that in here. : and the regular we-don't-own-HP-because-we're-hobo's drunken (sparkling cider!) hobos if its new year's and you're spinners-endx... good times, good times. thing. Chapter 10 Dean Fights Back 

The Boy Who Lived sat quietly on the couch in the Gryffindor common room staring at the fire. "She snogged me... she snogged _ME_!" Harry excitedly whispered trying to make it so no one would hear. But since he had been wrapped up in the fact that the girl of his dreams had just snogged him, he had said it a bit too loud so that everyone five feet away from him had heard. He was completely oblivious to this fact seeing as how he was lost in his own little Ginny-obsessed world.

Now, normally Dean Thomas was a nice boy, but when another guy messed with HIS chick that was it. The nice front came off and Dean turned into the black boy he was. Dean took a seat next to Harry on the couch and he too stared into the fire. "Yeah..." Dean began, breaking the silence and snapping Harry back to reality, "Ginny probably only snogged you because she had to get rid of the snog and she couldn't find me." He said not taking his eyes off the fire.

'Yeah,' Harry said politely (**A/N: he's such a nice kid)**,** '**But she did snog _ME_... not you.' Harry pointed out.

"Yes, well, she's dating ME if you remembered." Dean pointed out.

"For now..." Harry mumbled.

"What did you say Potter?" Dean glared at the poor, helpless soul sitting next to him.

"Nothing, nothing at all..." Harry said. Dean had always been nice to him; Harry saw no need to start a fight.

"That's what I thought. So, yeah, I just wanted to say congratulations about snogging my girl but don't expect it to happen to often. She's mine, not yours. Sorry mate."

Dean stood up and turned to leave. Something snapped inside Harry. He was furious; angry beyond belief. Screw the fact that they were pretty good friends, this was Ginny he was talking about... Ginny, the girl he loved so dearly...

"WE'LL SEE HOW LONG SHE WANTS TO BE YOURS!" Harry called after him, "DID YOU SEE HOW MUCH SHE ENJOYED THAT SNOG WITH ME? SHE SURE SEEMED LIKE SHE WAS ENJOYING IT!"

"What, what did you say? Say that again." Dean said slowly turning back to face Harry.

"Normally I would but I'm afraid it might overload you're little pea brain mind!" Harry smirked slowly.

"Take... that... back!"

"Bite me!" Harry spat.

The whole common room gasped, was this Harry? Harry Potter, the nice, cute, innocent, Boy Who Lived? Certainly not, it must be an imposter! Anyone have the antidote for the polyjuice potion on hand? No? Shucks.

Without think Dean dived on top of Harry and began punching him - fist of fury that one has. However, Harry did know a thing or two about fighting himself; who knew all those miserable summers with Dudley would pay off? Harry stuck his leg up and right in between Dean's legs. Dean gasped and fell to the floor next to Harry.

"Mate... low blow." Dean squeaked.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Harry smiled; he felt he had won the right to Ginny and he was quite pleased with himself. He turned to go find Ron so he could try to explain everything that had happened in the past 3 chapters but as he turned around to leave, Dean pounced on Harry. Harry fell flat on his stomach, his chin hitting the hard floor, and him tasting the grotesque metallic flavor of blood.

Dean was vicious, Ginny was HIS. And no 'Boy Who Lived' or 'Chosen One' was going to change that. He started to beat Harry up in a flurry of kicks and punches with Harry blocking about half and dodging the others.

'_What am I going to do? What am I going to do!'_ Harry thought in between dodging punches and throwing his own. _'I like Ginny and all – psh. Okay, that's an understatement but whatever - but if this is what her boyfriend does then I don't even want to THINK of what Ron and the rest of her brothers will do to me!'_

Dean, however, had just one thought on his mind '_Must kill Harry...'_

Harry jumped to the side; it looked like the two of them were doing some random, odd, painful dance. Wherever they went, the crowd of people in the common room shifted. 'O_kay... this is way more trouble then I had expected. Why couldn't Ginny have just snogged Dean and not me, not that I mind or- Shoot! I've got to get rid of the snog.' _Harry thought.

During all of this, Dean had once again managed to pin Harry to the floor. Harry pulled Dean's ankle with his foot, forcing them to switch places. Harry looked as if he was about to punch Dean hard enough to break his nose. Instead, he bent down and snogged Dean for about 7 seconds and then proceeded to spit for the next few minutes. Dean laid on the ground, shocked and very much appalled at what had happened.

"That's an... um... _odd_ way to fight." Neville said to no one in particular. Seamus silently nodded in agreement, bewildered by his two roommate's behaviors.

- - -

Fred sat in his chair, for at least one second before he started laughing so hard that he rolled off of it. "I don't think I'll ever be able to look at Harry in the same way again!"

"That's definitely enough to make fun of him for next summer!" George said brightly.

"Yeah... but Ginny must be crushed." Fred said coming somewhat to his senses.

- - -

Just then, Harry remembered. "Shit..." he said, "Ginny!" Harry got off of a stunned Dean and ran out of the common room to find his beloved. As he left, he couldn't help but think how nice and kind Dean was to protect his girlfriend like that.

"Ginnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnny! Where art thou?"

- - -

George sighed, "Fred, it's only lunch at Hogwarts and look at all the damage we've caused! I mean, think about what the poor ickle firsties must be thinking about this whole fiasco? Random sixth and fifth years running around like mad!"

Fred called his and on George's shoulder, "We did good bro... we did good."

George smirked, got up and went to get a good ol' glass of Firewhisky.

- - -

CA/N: very many thankies to all the reviewers! i wuv you all : so go review. remember, 100 reviews party!

**A/N: this seems a lot more random now that I'm rereading it, but whatever, I want to see what people think. Review please!**


	11. Best Friends Do Everything Together

**A/N: Hey everyone, what comes before Part B? PARTY! Get it Part a? HAHAHHAHAHA! I love you guys all so much. Here's some cookies 4 you all **

**(:) (:) (:) (:) Hope that's enough for all of you. If not, I can make more just tell me. And without further ado, let the story COMMENCE!**

**Chapter 11: Best Friends Do Everything Together**

Dean lay on the floor and stared at the ceiling, still shocked at what had just happened. They'd been fighting like the two stark raving mad people they were and then all the sudden there was a random snog!

'_Is Harry attracted to me? I mean, I know I'm incredibly irresistible and sexy but really, did he have to snog me in public! Atleast he could've done it when we were alone in the dorm or something... I guess he just couldn't resist.' _He thought. He got up and took a seat on the couch still wearing his shocked expression. Seamus took a seat next to him and stared at his friend for a few minutes. Then he _finally_ broke the incredibly awkward silence. "Dean... what was with that snog?" Dean looked at Seamus and came back from his own little world of thoughts. "I... don't know..."

'_Alright, mental list of possibilities... 'Why Harry Would Snog Me'_

_1. Because I'm Dean Thomas, most incredible Gryffindor around._

_2. Because he's attracted to me in one way or another._

_3. He wanted to pass the snog that Ginny gave him so I wouldn't get even angrier. Stupid but the Boy Who Lived isn't all that smart._

4. He wanted to prove to himself that just because he finds Draco Malfoy attractive (I mean, don't we all?) doesn't mean that he's gay.

_5. Wait... pass the snog? Pass the Snog. PASS THE SNOG! That... was... exactly... a... year... ago... OH MY GOD, I HAVE THE SNOG!'_

Dean jumped off the couch and started pacing the common room; he always did that when he was seriously stressed out. Seamus stared at Dean some more trying to find out what was wrong with his friend. '_Dean Thomas goes mental once again... alright, I guess it's my job to find out what's wrong.' _

"Hey Dean, why are you frantically pacing the room with your eyes about to pop out of your face?"

Dean stopped his pacing and gathered up the scariest glare he could manage though it hardly could qualify as a glare. It couldn't even scare a 1st year Hufflepuff! Anyway, Dean shot his oh-so-frightening glare at Seamus. Seamus sat there trying to conceal his laughter.

"Seriously Dean, what's got your wand in such a knot?"

"Because Seamus... I have the snog!" Dean sat down in the couch again and threw his arms up in frustration, nearly hitting Seamus in the face.

"Is that all? Why don't you just snog any random girl in the room? Just walk up, grab and snog." Seamus suggested.

"Are you kidding? I can't do that!"

"And why not?"

"Well... you see..." Dean stumbled trying to think of his explanation, "I... have a girlfriend. Yeah... and if I snogged some other girl, she'd get mad and then I'd be... doomed." he finished quite lamely.

"Doomed?" Seamus asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes, doomed."

"What exactly do you mean by doomed? Is it like, 'I got a bad grade on my test, 'mum's gonna kill me' doomed or is it, 'the world as we know it is coming to an end' doomed? You have to specify how much doom is actually being doomed. That way I know how much to charge for tickets!" Seamus said.

"For what?" Dean asked suspiciously. "Whatever. Anyway, it's 'girl-PMSing plus jealous-girl-out-for-revenge' doom."

"Let's see... PMSing plus jealous plus revenge plus... hey, Dean, is she good at jinxes or curses?" Seamus questioned doing a mental tally.

"Could you at least TRY and ACT like you care about your friend!" Dean pleaded.

"Fine..." Seamus sighed. "Alright... well, you'd only be doomed if she found out. Which she won't. So just go and snog any girl. How about that one over there?"

"I can't. That's one of Ginny's friends." Dean said sadly.

"How 'bout that one?" Seamus said pointing to some random fifth year standing by the fireplace.

"Ginny's friend."

"Any other girls in this room you fancy that are not one of Ginny's friends?"

"Nope... all Ginny's friends. Hey wait... I've got an idea."

"What's that?" Seamus said.

"I could always snog a guy. I mean, it's for Pass the Snog day and all so it's not like anyone can make up rumors."

"Alright..." Seamus said cautiously, "but the only boys in the room are Neville and I. Want to give Neville a good ol' peck on the lips, eh?"

Dean stared at Seamus and let out a small chuckle, "Yeah... I'll go snog Neville."

Dean walked up to Neville and stood quite closely to him. "Hello Neville."

Neville looked around warily; Dean never acted like this around him before.

"So, how are you this fine afternoon?" Dean said with a small smirk.

"Um... just fine..." Neville responded, "Dean... you're kind of invading my personal bubble."

Dean stepped forward so their faces were 2 inches apart. "Am I invading your personal bubble now?" he whispered.

Neville's eyes grew and he started stepping backwards as Dean came closer and closer until Neville had hit the wall. _'I can't believe I'm doing this.'_ Dean thought. He stepped closer until his lips had almost touched Neville's... and then, his lips had touched another surface and they had snogged and snogged and snogged. "Thanks Neville... by the way you have to pass the snog." Dean said, opening his eyes at the exact same time. But when he opened his eyes he was facing the cold, gray wall of the Gryffindor common room.

"Sorry Dean but I don't think walls can have the snog." Seamus said bursting out laughing from his place on the couch. Dean turned around and saw the Seamus amusedly smiling back and Neville walking down from the boy's dormitory, looking at Dean and running towards the entrance hole.

"Damn it... who am I going to snog now?" Dean said.

"Well... go down to the Great Hall, there's tons of people there and I'm sure you'll find someone to snog there."

"Nah, I don't have enough time. Hey wait... Seamus, you're my best friend, right?"

"Yes, of course!" Seamus replied, completely oblivious to where Dean was going.

"And best friends will do anything for each other?" Dean said suggestively, raising his eyebrows and smirking.

"Yeah..."

"Then what are you waiting for? Snog me!" Dean yelled, stepping forward to Seamus.

"Hey wait! I will not snog you! You're my best mate!" Seamus replied.

"But... no one will see us and no one will know except us and the portraits!"

Seamus took one glance at the portraits who took that as their cue to turn away and snicker among themselves. "Alright... come here."

Dean walked over to where Seamus was sitting and smiled. "Um... here it goes..."

They leaned forward and indulged in the best kiss two best friends can have. They snogged for minutes forgetting that they were just friends passing the snog. Finally, they broke apart and sat there in silence.

"I never knew you were such a good snog, Seamus."

"Yeah, I didn't know that about you either."

The two boys stood up and walked off in their own directions. This snog was just another moment between two best friends or maybe it was more? You never know what happens behind the closed dormitory doors.

- - -

"Dean and Seamus!" George exclaimed while Fred laughed staring at the screen, "That's Ginny's boyfriend and Ron and Harry's roommates!"

"I knew that's what went on in the boys' room!" Fred yelled. They both stared at each other and started laughing hysterically.

"Hey, Fred, do you think this is exposing the readers to high amounts of slash that everyone loves?"

"Yeah, but too much slash isn't a bad thing."

"True..."

They both stared at the screen once more and burst out laughing. Oh, what a wonderful day this would be.

- - -

Seamus walked into the Great Hall with his head held up high. "I am such a ladies man," he thought, "This is going to be So easy, the girls will just be lining up to snog the wonderful and spectacular Seamus Finnigan. Just as he entered, looking quite cocky and pompous (sort of like Percy), the majority of the girls in the Great Hall took once glance at him and left, as if they knew what was on his mind. Seamus sighed, '_Guess my handsomeness made them all shy. Oh well, they'll be back for some of my hot Irish sexiness.' _He shrugged and sat down to eat his lunch.

- - -

**CA/N: PARTY! –tosses out marshmallows, sugar-filled food and cold drinks- A BAJILLION THANKS TO ALL OF OUR REVIEWS, let's try to get a 100 more, eh? So, everybody who reviewed: sit back, relax and enjoy yourselves. Or start spazzing like the crazy person you really are. Your choice. :**


	12. Ladies Man? Sure

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to kakashisninjadogs and her key lime pie! And just so that she no's the co-author/beta of this fic happens to love pie (as does the author) and has key lime pie colored shoes (you know, the green color of the pie)! Cool huh? Sorry if Seamus is a little too cocky for anyone's liking but oh well, this is what I think and if you guys have a problem with it, I guess I'll hear about it. Also by popular request (2 or 3 people) we (author and co author/beta) have decided to have Ginny/Harry on the side, yay! Unless anyone has extreme objections we will be doing this so tell us what you think. Chapter 12: Ladies Man? Sure... 

Fred sat in the twins' workshop and chuckled. "Seamus always thought that he was such a ladies man; let's see how he does with the snog."

George replied agreeably, "I bet you he can't get rid of it."

"I'll take that bet, but what does the loser have to do?" Fred said; Seamus may be a git but there HAD to be one girl who snog him.

"A hippopotamus." George said confidently.

Fred's face twisted in confusion. "Where the bloody hell am I going to get a hippopotamus to give to you?" He said perplexed.

"I don't know I just want one. So, that's the deal, loser buys the winner a hippopotamus." George concluded.

"Fine," sighed Fred, "I just sure hope I win because I have no idea where I'm going to get you a bloody hippo."

- - -

Seamus sat in the now female-vacant Great Hall and ate lunch; surely there had to be a long line of girls wanting to snog the one and only Seamus Finnigan. He bit into his sandwich and thought. _'Now, which girl do I want to snog? I know I have my pick of any of them.' _He pondered and pondered until he finally decided._ 'Lavender Brown. She's quite pretty and I hear she's a good shag too. But let's just take one step at a time.' _Seamus said to himself.

Feeling good, Seamus left the Great Hall in search of Lavender. He found her in the common room talking with Parvati about something that had them both giggling like the little schoolgirls they are. When Parvati saw Seamus approaching she stood up and dashed to her dorm, trying to signal her friend. Unfortunately, it was too late. _'Ah, well...' _she thought._ 'Every girl for herself.' _

Startled by the sudden departure of her friend, Lavender turned around to see who Parvati was running away from. She spotted Seamus walking towards her and she inwardly groaned. '_Not him...'_

- - -

Harry found Hermione in the library, of course, and sat down at the table where she was studying for Potions.

"Uh, Hermi?" Harry asked afraid to disturb her; she got incredibly cranky when someone interrupted one of her ten daily study sessions.

Hermione cringed at the name, finished reading the page she was on and looked up at Harry. "Yes?"

"Do you know where Ginny is?" Harry asked, he had been searching for her so he could tell her that he didn't hate her or the snog and that he loved her and all that mushy stuff that he didn't get to tell her because she left the common room in such a hurry.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do."

"You want to tell me?"

Hermione devilishly grinned, "Nope."

"Why not!" Harry yelled, causing Madam Pince to fix her vulture-like eyes on the pair and shush them.

"Because Harry, she's right behind you." Hermione said exasperatedly and went back to studying her potions.

"Oh." Harry said and slowly turned around just in time to catch a glimpse of red hair flying behind a bookshelf

**- - -**

"Hello Seamus," Lavender said, eyes scanning the room for a possible escape route.

"Hello Lavender." Seamus said lasciviously; leaning his arm against the wall to trap Lavender. "You know I have the snog, right?"

"Congratulations." She replied sardonically.

"Don't you think I deserve a congratulatory snog?" Seamus said, leaning forward towards the poor, innocent girl. As he did so, Parvati came rushing down from the girl's dorm, just in time to save the day.

"Lav, come on! We're going to be late for Transfiguration." she said quickly; tossing Lavender her books.

"Right," Lavender said hurriedly. She ducked down and ran around Seamus, causing him to fall forward and bang his head on the wall. The two girls exited the dorm in a rush.

"Right then," Seamus said to himself. "Next on the list."

The same thing happened for the next 23 minutes. Every girl in Hogwarts was forced to endure the snog-filled wrath of Seamus, so they were all either:

A. Avoiding Seamus

B. Running away from Seamus

Or

C. Being saved by other girls from Seamus

After trying to get with almost every snogable girl in Hogwarts, Seamus didn't know what to do! But, just as he turned the corner…

- - -

"You better hurry up Seamus..." said Fred under his breath. "Otherwise I'm going to have to find a hippopotamus."

George groaned, who knew that almost all of the Hogwarts girls hated Seamus?

"Come on Seamus... snog a boy if you have to..." George said, "You got three minutes!"

- - -

Seamus saw Dean talking to a girl whose back was facing him. Seamus would just turn her around and snog her, whoever she was. After all, he only had a minute and a half left! Snog now, explain later; that was his motto for the next few minutes.

Seamus approached slowly, like a lion stalking it's pray. He ducked down so that Dean wouldn't be able to see him and stop him from snogging this quite attractive (well, from the back atleast) girl. As Seamus reached the pair, he stood tall and placed his hand on the girl's shoulder and turned her around. Dean's eyes widened as Seamus leaned forward...

- - -

"Wow..." George said, "Who knew Seamus had it in him?"

"Yes!" Fred said pumping his fist in triumph, "Looks like you owe me a hippopotamus, brother!"

"You know bloody well that I meant he had to snog a GIRL!" George said trying to defend himself.

- - -

Neville pushed Seamus off of him and proceeded to gag. He looked at Seamus eyes wide.

"What in the bloody hell was that?"

- - -

Harry ran after Ginny (yes, it was actually Ginny) and grabbed her shoulder. "Ginny, why do you keep running? Listen to me... please?"

- - -

"NEVILLE?" Seamus yelled. "I thought you were a girl! I mean, I had to pass the snog to some girl and all of the girls have been avoiding me all day and here was a perfectly pretty looking girl right in front of me and I was running out of time so I just…. You know."

"Great, so I look like a girl now!" Neville said; quickly looking down since his eyes starting to tear up.

"Well, from the back, yeah..." Seamus said quietly.

"Atleast he said you looked like a pretty girl, mate." piped Dean, trying to be comforting but failing miserably.

- - -

"Now, for that matter of my hippopotamus…" Fred said smirking.

George sighed, "Do you take IOYH's?

"What's that?"

"I owe you a hippopotamus?"

- -

**A/N: still no one has been able to guess the potion and what it does! Everyone is really close and ALMOST right, but not quiet you're going to learn about it in 3 or 4 chapters. But let me clear this up it DOES NOT I repeat DOES NOT make you fall in love with the person, though those who guessed that are very VERY close, so keep guessing everyone! And R and R!**


	13. Girl and Hippo Hunting

**A/N: here we are with the next part of the Snog Wars saga! Sorry it took so long but a certain beta was too lazy to send a certain author the chapter. This is personally one of my fav ships, just like Harry/Ginny (hence the side romance). So tell me what you think, R&R pwease!**

**CA/N: Okay, I was NOT being lazy. I had a project to do. So there. And sorry if anyone's an avid Neville fan because this chapter makes him seem like a bit of a wimp. But he's a really sweet wimp. Anyway, I hope you like it. Let us commence!**

**Chapter 13: Girl and Hippo Hunting**

Neville ashamed to stay around his friends ('_A girl, I do not look like a girl! Well... I guess I do have some feminine side to me...') _so he turned around and walked away, determined to keep some manliness by not crying in front of his friends. He ran straight to his favorite thinking and moping spot; a small room leading off from the Great Hall. No one ever went there which is why Neville could sob as loudly as he wanted without worrying about protecting his image. He took a seat on the dusty ground and cried.

'_Great...' _he thought,_ 'No one wants to snog a loser like me. I'm going to end up with... what was Draco saying in the corridor? Oh yeah, boils on my butt. Just to prove them wrong, I'll snog a girl. Unlike them I can probably get one.' _He smirked to himself. '_No ones going to question my sexuality anymore. But what girl is there to snog?'_ He sighed, thinking of one that would be impossible to snog._ 'Alright, let the aimless wandering begin.' _Neville stood up, dusted his shoulders off and wiped his tears. He stood up straight to emphasis the oh-so-very dramatic moment this was and walked out of his tiny room, ready to snog whatever girl he fancied.

- - -

"So..." Fred said, eating the sandwich he had recently conjured up, "Where's my hippo?"

George sighed, "It's been five minutes! Give me some time; it's very hard trying to find someone with a hippo in the middle of London! _Normal_ people don't have hippos in the middle of a city, you know."

"Who says you have to get it from someone normal? We don't associate with normal people! George, what is wrong with you!"

George gasped. "You're right! Oh, Fred, I am SO sorry! This whole hippo business has gotten to me. I'm losing my head here!"

"Well, that's not good." George stared blankly at Fred. "Fine," he sighed, "Just get me the hippo by the end of the day." He stuck his tongue out childishly like the kid he was.

"And if I don't?" asked George.

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" Fred bellowed. George stared blankly at his brother once again. "No... really." Fred replied calmly. His brother gulped and went back to searching for a hippo.

"Heh, I love being older than you."

"Just by three seconds. Go back to watching the board."

- - -

Back at Hogwarts, Neville had walked down the halls searching for any girl to snog. Well, except a Slytherin, who'd snog a Slytherin? Unfortunately, the corridors were devoid of all female life forms (unless you count Mrs. Norris who, for Neville, was a last resort; he didn't go around kissing cats like Filch did). '_Alright... back to the Gryffindor common room. I have a free period, maybe a girl someone's in there.'_

Neville headed back to the Gryffindor common rooms completely unaware that he was being watched by a certain sexy, blonde-haired ferret.

"Hey Longbottom." Draco sneered.

'_Oh god... where's some other Gryffindor when I need them. No!'_ Neville mentally slapped himself, '_I will stand up for myself, I will stand up for myself... Oh, I think I'm going to faint.'_

"Yes, Draco?" Neville said as politely as he could. Big mistake.

"Don't call me by my first name you mudblood-loving Gryffindork." He replied, "So, what are you looking for Longbottom? Lost your Remembrall or your grandmother's knickers or something?"

"S-s-shut up Malfoy." Stuttered Neville. '_I will stand up for myself... oh, I think I'm going to keel.'_

"What are you going to do about it? Potty, Weasel and Mudblood aren't here to help you now!" Draco exclaimed, followed by a maniacal laugh trademarked by the Malfoy family.

Neville shuddered. '_Here it goes.'_ "PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" he yelled. Draco's body went rigid and Neville snorted with laughter, sounding like a pig on helium.

"Neville Longbottom..." said a mystical, quirky voice. Neville turned around to face a quite familiar girl he knew and loved.

"Oh, hey Luna."

- - -

"Ginny... wait."

"Let go of me, Harry." She said, staring blankly at the bespectacled boy. Harry dropped her arm and sighed.

"Ginny, what's with you? Ever since that... s-snog... you've been acting so different!"

"The snog was only about an hour ago and you haven't seen me since then! So don't say I'm acting different because I'm not!" her voice grew louder with each word while a blush crept across her face.

"Well, bugger me backwards! I think you've changed now since when have you ever yelled at me before? And since when are you so distant!"

Ginny stopped to think of some way to reply to that. "J-just leave me alone, Harry..." she replied.

"You know what? Fine."

"Fine."

The two stalked off in their own directions; secretly not wanting to leave the other. Ginny turned around and watched Harry leave the library. A feeling of remorse and guilt built up inside her. '_What did I just do...?'_

- - -

"What are you doing here, Luna?" Neville questioned.

"Well, seeing as I have no friends in my own house, I figured I'd walk around and look for Ginny but Merlin knows where she is." Luna sighed, sounding distant, sad and abnormally... normal.

"Oh, she's off stalking Harry like she did in our second and third year," said Hermione who was walking past the two (reading a fascinating book on the Goblin Wars of 1678) to get to Gryffindor common room. "By the way Neville, you only have 7 minutes left." She stopped and took a long glance at Luna who, like it was mentioned before, was acting quite unlike her usual self. She shrugged her shoulders and went on her way.

"And people say that _I'm_ odd."

'_7 minutes... 7 minutes... must find girl. Wait...' _Neville began to panic but then he realized something. "Hey, Luna… you're a girl!"

"Why, thank you for noticing!"

'_Here it goes.'_ "You wouldn't happen to know what day it is would you?" said Neville coyly leaning against the wall.

- - -

Harry felt awful but what was there to do? Ginny had asked him to leave her alone and he only wanted to make Ginny happy. '_Screw it.'_ He decided, '_I'll find her anyway and tell her how I feel. But what should I say? I mean, I know I'm no good at the whole talking-to-girls-thing.' _He momentarily paused and searched his brain for an answer. '_I got it! What would Dean Thomas do? I mean, he's a ladies man and a great guy at the same time. He's probably the nicest guy I know and Ginny's going out with him so let me ask myself... WWDTD? What would good ol' Dean Thomas do?'_ **(CA/A/N: -hint hint- potion –hint hint-)**

Harry turned to re-enter the library. As he turned around, he saw Ginny behind him looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Oh! Uh... Hello, Harry." She said, rushing past him with a blush creeping onto her face.

"Ginny, please, I'm begging you…just wait and listen to me." Harry said pleadingly.

Ginny turned and faced the boy she had loved since the age of 10. "Fine, Harry but make it quick. I have to go find Luna and go to class soon."

- - -

"No Neville. What day is it? Don't tell me I missed Nargle Appreciation Day again!" Luna said in a panic.

Neville chuckled, "No, it's Pass the Snog Day, silly!"

Luna lightly slapped Neville across the face, "Merlin's balls! Don't scare me like that; I thought it was something important!"

"It is..." Neville said softly, brushing Luna's blonde hair out of her face. He slowly leaned into her, hoping that she knew what he was going to do. Neville suddenly stopped; their faces about an inch apart. _'Is this okay?'_ He looked at Luna, who was standing with her eyes closed looking quite anxious and he smiled and leaned in.

- - -

"Oh, hurry up Neville! It's bad enough that you're clumsy, now you have to take forever to snog someone too!" exclaimed Fred, "The last thing we want is for you to be stuck with boils on your bottom too."

"Yeah..." agreed George absentmindedly, obviously not paying attention, as he was scouring catalogs and magazines in search of a place to find a hippo - cheap and fast.

- - -

Neville cupped her chin and gently kissed her. It was his first kiss with a girl, especially a girl other than his grandmother.

He pulled away and Luna sighed, "This must be what if feels like to have a boyfriend..." She said sadly and turned to go look for Ginny.

"Wait!" Neville shouted. Luna turned around, eyes sparkling, "You forgot the folder." (**CA/N: the folder has been passed in the last few chapters, we just didn't mention it. ;)** He said, blushing profusely, and handing her the snog folder. Disappointed, Luna snatched the folder and turned around to leave.

"Wait..." Neville said again, "you forgot just one more thing." He grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. Neville leaned in once again and snogged her quite passionately. When they broke apart Luna was beaming.

"This is better then having friends!" She said cheerfully, "but I really have to go Neville; must find Ginny and then be off to class. I'll... um, see you later."

Neville bid her farewell, smiling giddily. '_She really is a nice, pretty, amazing girl._'

- - -

"Awwww... well, that's sweet. A bit creepy though, those two are definitely odd.' Said Fred. "Anyway, how goes the hippo hunting?"

"Ugh!" George replied, his voice muffled by the stacks of magazines he was searching in.

- - -

**CA/N: Yeah, you can leave your potion guesses now. : That would mean you have to review. Hope you liked this chapter. Chapter 14 shall be coming soon. **


	14. Gooses, Ginny, and Giggles

**A/N: here you go ya'll chapter 14! Hooray! So yea make sure you tell us what you think, I loooooooooooooooooooove getting reviews and we try to use as many ideas as possible as long as they won't make us completely rewrite the plot. Enjoy everyone!**

**CA/N: This chapter is dedicated to pettybureaucrat for their idea that we're using later in the fic. Thanks muchly! And Luna's a bit out of character since she's not all in her whole world in this chapter. So yeah. **

**Chapter 14 Gooses, Ginny, and Giggles**

Luna clutched the folder that Neville had handed her and dreamily walked down the corridor. The snog had put her back into her, um, normal state of mind. Her head was spinning with thoughts of Neville and the snog. Oh, she was in love. Well, it's not like Neville was any different at the current time. He walking down the corridor in the other direction thinking of how Luna's eyes resembled the bulbs of his favorite conifer, the

Innencara Bulbous.

"Luna! LUNA!" he heard, turning around to see Ginny running towards Luna. Neville nodded happily to himself and walked off. '_I'll be seeing Luna later.'_

- - -

"'Lo Ginerva." said Luna.

"Hey Luna." Ginny stared at her friend, "Um... what happened? Did you have too much to drink! I mean, you were twirling around and everything... and even you never call me Ginerva."

Luna broke into a wide smile, giggled and continued twirling. "I'm drunk on looove!" she exclaimed.

Ginny broke out laughing, "What!"

"It's true!" Luna replied. She held up the Snog Folder and smiled.

"Ohh," Ginny nodded in understanding, "you've been snogged. By who?"

"Neville Longbottom!" she said proudly, "Have you had the snog yet?"

"Yes, I snogged Harry which was a big mistake." Ginny said, "But I bet Neville isn't a good of a snogger as Harry is! He's perfect with his black hair and green eyes... and he's not that unintelligent either." **(CA/N and A/N: Can these hints be anymore subtle!)**. Luna nodded to be polite though Ginny didn't notice since she was in her own little Harry-filled world. "So..." Ginny said, breaking out of her thoughts, "Any idea of who you're going to snog?"

Luna's eyes grew big. "I completely forgot about that!"

- - -

"Hey, 'Mione!" Harry called.

"Hello Harry. No, I don't know where Ginny is this time, so don't bother asking." Hermione replied, frustrated that she ran out of studying time.

"I wasn't looking for Ginny!" he replied, "I was wondering if you knew where," he sighed, "Dean was."

"What am I, the bloody map? Go find him yourself!" she angrily responded.

"Geez... okay 'Mione. And don't worry, you'll be able to snog your little Ronniekins soon enough." Harry smirked at Hermione. She glared, '_Oh, you're going down Potter.' _She threw a book at the poor kid, who took that as his cue to run from the library.

'_That girl can teach Voldemort a thing or two.' _He thought.

...30 seconds later...

"Um... Granger!" a voice called. Hermione looked around to see who it was. The library, where she was, was completely empty asides from Madam Pince and a few Slytherins. She must be hearing things.

"Granger!" Okay, she definitely wasn't hearing things. She turned around and was face to face with Blaise. "Oh, um, hello." She said.

"Hi. You're friends with Ginny, right?" Hermione nodded slowly. '_Does Ginny have her own fan club or something?'_

"Alright... um... do you know where she is?" Blaise asked nervously.

"Why do you need to know?" Hermione questioned. No way was she going to let her best friend get beaten up or raped by a group of Slytherin losers.

"Well, IsnoggedherandnowIcan'tstopthinkingabouthowprettysheisandshe'samazingandIreallywanttotalktohereventhoughshe'saGryffindor." Blaise exhaled, "So, yeah, can you... tell me where she is?"

"Um..." She had only heard about three words in what he had said and since Blaise was as nice as a Slytherin could get, she didn't think he'd hurt her. "Sorry, but I don't know."

"Alright... I'll just keep looking for her..." Blaise thanked Hermione and walked out of the library.

'_Alright... this is getting weird. Time to owl the twins.'_

- - -

"You mean... you don't know who you're going to snog?" Ginny asked.

"No!" Luna said panicking, "I read through the folder and I don't want those symptoms! Who is there to snog anyway?"

The two had continued walking thinking of people to snog when they had arrived at Defense Against the Dark Arts and were waiting for the rest of the class to arrive. Colin Creevey appeared with his little brother Dennis.

Ginny arched an eyebrow at Luna. "Are you crazy?" she said, "that's just what I need another Potter freak to befriend me."

Ginny stared at Luna. "What? Oh, I didn't mean you! I meant that he's a Potter freak and he'll probably ask me all of these questions about the end of last year and whatnot." She looked at Ginny expectantly. Ginny nodded, "Right. Well, I meant Dennis! He can snog his brother if he wants."

"I don't know. Should I?" Luna asked, eyeing Dennis skeptically.

"Yes! Snog the little bugger! You've only got fifteen minutes and unless you want to spend your Defense Against the Dark Arts class snogging Snape – Luna cringed - you better hurry up and snog him."

"Give me some time to think about it, okay?"

"Well, hurry up, because Dennis will leave any second now!"

"Alright!" Luna replied, "Just... hold on." She walked up to Dennis and smiled, ""Lo Creevey." Dennis, who's a very nervous little boy, backed up since he obviously wasn't used to being approached by _anyone_.

"Um... h-h-h-hello..." he stuttered. Colin pushed his little brother aside. "Why, hello Luna. Pleasure to see you on this fine day."

"Yes... we're in the same class so I was bound to see you sometime. So, anyway, Dennis, how are you?"

"I'm f-fine and y-you?" Dennis replied.

"Oh, Dennis, no need for petty small talk right now," Colin interjected, "Luna, you're friends with Harry, right?"

Luna nodded carefully. "I'm splendid Dennis, thank you. What's your next class?"

"Oh, Dennis has Potions next. Well, anyway, do you have any pictures of Harry?"

Luna stared at Colin. '_Can you shut up? I need to snog your brother!' _She turned around and looked at Ginny for moral support who, instead, was laughing like the madwoman she is.

"No. So, Dennis..."

"If you get any, can you give them to me?" Colin asked eagerly. Luna snapped.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP? NO, I WILL NOT GIVE YOU PICTURES OF HARRY! NOW LET ME MAKE SMALL TALK WITH YOUR YOUNGER BROTHER SO I CAN SNOG HIM! Is that so much to ask for!"

Colin's eyes widened, Ginny was literally on the floor laughing and the entire class had formed a circle around Colin, Dennis and Luna. Unfortunately, Snape, who had just arrived at the class, had heard too...

**- - -**

"Hippo... hippo... GOT TO FIND A HIPPO! GAH!" said George franticly flipping through catalogs.

"How goes it, brother?" said Fred smirking

-light bulb flash-

"Hey," George said getting an idea. "What do you say we do double or nothing?"

"Alright..." pondered Fred, "You have my interest."

"Okay, if Luna does snog someone then you owe me a mongoose and I don't have to give you a hippo, if not, I owe you 2 hippos." stated George.

"Fine with me but why in the world do you want a mongoose?"

"I have a plan involving Swiss cheese, duct tape, a paper clip and a mongoose and I can't find the mongoose." Stated George as if the answer were obvious.

"Do I even want to know?"

George shook his head.

"Thought so."

- - -

"Pity, Lovegood. Can't keep your love life private?" Snape sneered, obviously thinking up some cruel, unfair punishment in that greasy head of his, "Well that deserv-"

Luna cut him off. "Oh, bugger, get over here Dennis."

Snape's eyes grew, "Lovegood. 10 points fr-"

"Dennis! Don't leave! Get over here!" Dennis ran down the corridor and Luna ran after him.

"LOVEGOOD, GET BACK HERE!" Snape cried. Luna ignored him and continued chasing after Dennis.

"Get away from me!" Dennis yelled.

"I just want to snog you, hold still!"

Luna finally caught up to Dennis but ended up crashing into him, falling to the hard ground right on top of the poor kid. She pinned him to the floor, bent down and gave him a nice, long snog. When she finally finished, Luna wiped her lips and stood up, lending a hand out to Dennis.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" She handed Dennis the Pass the Snog folder, walked back towards the Defense Against the Dark Arts class where Snape could still be heard yelling and left the poor boy standing in the middle of the corridor, dumbstruck.

- - -

"I get a mongoose! I get a moooooooooooooongooooooooooooooose!" George happily danced around the workshop.

Fred sighed. "George, can I borrow a few of those catalogs?" asked Fred, receiving a grin from his twin.

- - -

"50 points from Ravenclaw and a detention every night for the next month will be sufficient, Miss Lovegood."

Ginny was smiling widely. She turned to see the reaction from her friend and saw Luna smiling.

"He needs to get laid," whispered Luna to Ginny, "BADLY."

**A/N: still no correct potion guesses, oh well guess you are all just clueless. Shame really, anyway read and review even if you aren't going to guess the potion. Once we get to 200 reviews we'll have another party! WOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!**

**CA/N: yeah, review. guess potions. **

**A/N: (to CA) you sound so enthused.**


	15. Brotherly Love

**A/N: hello and welcome back. Sorry this took so long be we had midterm exams all last week and after we finished neither of us really wanted to write this chapter, but after a compromise and a lot of soda (on my part at least) we struggled through it. Sorry if it sucks but we will do better I promise! So now please enjoy the show!**

**CA/N:** **Hello, everyone. Sorry to make you wait for this update we've had midterms, life and a major case of laziness. So yeah. Alas, we bring you:  
**

**Chapter 15: Brotherly Love**

Dennis Creevey never showed up at his Potions class; he just kept running. He had no idea where to or why but he just had to run; to run away from the humiliation, the girl, Snape, his brother and just everyone but most importantly, to run from his the snog. Because, well, that _is_ what real men do… right? Atleast that's what his dad said he did after he got snogged... So, Dennis followed the tradition of the Creevey men and ran until he was tired.

He sat against the cold, stone wall under an open window; tired from running. Well, that was expected; it's not like Quidditch gave students much exercise anyway. Dennis drew his knees up to his chest and went into his deep-thinking mode. '_I was snogged... Me... snogged... randomly... She wanted to snog me... Luna Lovegood...'_ He sighed and noticed the Pass the Snog folder lying on the ground next to him. '_Well, well, what's this then?'_ He flipped open the folder, saw the four words 'Pass the Snog day'and quickly glanced at the picture of George with boils on his butt. That was all he saw before everything went dark.

**- - -**

"How goes the mongoose hunting brother dearest?" George said, glad he no longer had to search for a hippopotamus.

"Shut up," said Fred grimacing as he flipped the pages in the ACME catalog.

- - -

Five minutes and a few footsteps later, Dennis snapped out of his unconsciousness after being harshly shaken by some mysterious figure. Oh, look, it was his brother, the one person he didn't want to see at this time.

"Hello, Colin." He said coldly.

"Dennis! Finally! Say, when you ran away and Luna followed you did you get an-"

"No, she did not secretly hand me pictures of Harry Potter so I could make a shrine of him in my dormitory. Nor did she tell me any new information about him or anything related to him. All she did was snog me. So please, leave me alone and thanks for caring that I was lying on the ground out cold." (C/AN: Are you sensing that teenage angst?)

"Damn. I was hoping to get more pictures for my shrin- I mean, for my collection of photos of... people around the school. Yeah… you know how I've been working on that yearbook thing. I mean, every school should have one, right? So, I'm not making a Harry Potter shrine. STOP STARING AT ME!" Colin squealed.

"Whatever." Dennis stood up, stopping to catch his balance since he was still dizzy from fainting, and walked off.

"Wait, wait!" Colin called.

"What?" Dennis asked rudely.

"You left that." Colin picked up the folder that was lying on the ground and read through it.

"Hey!" Dennis said quickly picking up the folder, "You're not allowed to see that unless you have the snog."

"Then give me the snog, I want to read it!"

"No! It was bad enough last year. This time, I think I'm going to for someone outside the family." Dennis said matter-of-factly.

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please?"

"No."

"PLEEEEEEEASE?"

"Okay."

"Really?"

"No!"

This continued until the two brothers made their way to the Great Hall where Dennis had lunch nowAfter about 7 minutes of Colin poking Dennis in the shoulder and begging on his knees (which Dennis greatly enjoyed by the way),Dennis finally gave in. "Fine, I'll snog you."

"Really?"

"Yes, but there's a catch."

Ginny exited the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom with Luna. The two  
were both daydreaming; Luna about her new obsession, Dennis Creevey, and   
Ginny about well, who other than, the boy who lived (A/N: It annoys me so  
much, lots of boys lived so from now on, he will be referred to as one of  
the millions of boys who live everyday. Thank you).

Ginny snapped out of her dream when Blaise Zabini grabbed her shoulder.

"Hey." he said.

"Hi." she sighed, wanting to go back to dreaming about the 'one of the   
millions of boys who live everyday' (A/N: hehe, I like it!).

"Ginny, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since we snogged in  
the hospital wing." Blaise began.

"That's weird," Ginny said, "because I completely forgot about you." She  
turned to leave but as she looked over her shoulder, she saw Blaise's eyes  
fill up with tears. "Oh, it's not you it's me." She said, "I'm in love with  
another..." Ginny patted him on the shoulder and walked down the corridor  
with Luna.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Blaise, falling to his knees with tears  
trailing down his face.

- - -

Colin groaned, "What?"

"Because I am oh so graciously giving the snog to you, you have to not take pictures of or talk about Harry Potter for a week."

"WHAT?"

"That's it… Harry Potter or snog; those are your choices." Dennis said smirking cruelly at his brother.

"You… are… EVIL!"

"Why, thank you. I rather thoug-" Dennis began, but before he had a chance to finish his sentence, his brother grabbed his robe and pulled him into a wet, sloppy three minute snog.

- - -

"George, look what I just got…" Fred said holding up a letter as he entered the workshop.

"That doesn't look like a mongoose to me." George said.

"No, it's a letter from Hermione. She says she thinks there's something wrong with the potion and that the people who have had the snog are all acting quite odd..." Fred said.

"Well, the only way that would have happened is if we had had an accident." Just as George spoke those works, he slipped on an empty potion bottle on the floor. He picked it up, wide-eyed and handed it to his twin.

"George, this isn't good." Fred said.

"I know, bro. I know."

**- - -**

"20 points from Gryffindor for incest where we eat." said Snape lazily as he walked passed the brothers who continued to snog anyway.

**A/N: for being nice and not killing us we'll try to give you all a nice long, two chapters. This are gonna be good! And by the way one of our reviewers guessed the correct potion, congrats pureangel86! Please R and R.**

**CA/N: All done! Reviiewwwww. Thanks.**


	16. Remember Last Year?

A/N: yes! We have reached to 200-review mark. Music starts do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight! Changes music celebrate good times come on! Okay musical montage over! Anyway thanks to everybody who reviewed, and I forget who asked me but we will be posting a snog list at the very end of the story, so for now, I'm sorry but you just have to go back and reread. (hint: the snogs are normally toward the end off chapters) thanks so much for making this story a success everyone, and now on with the show!

**CA/N: Squee! 200 plus reviews! throws juice boxes Anyway, after you're done reading remember to review and read the authors/coauthors note at the bottom.**

Chapter 16: Remember Last Year?

Colin Creevey loved spy movies. His dad loved spy movies. His brother loved Star Wars (but that's not important seeing how this chapter is about Colin). Anyway, the important thing to take away from this paragraph is that Colin Creevey loved spy movies.

Colin, now having the snog, was off and where else was he headed to but to find Harry Potter. '_Maybe he'll let me take a picture of us together!_' thought Colin happily.

The little fifth year scurried around; he could not seem to find Harry anywhere. Not in the library, not with Ron or Hermione (who were in the library so that should have been obvious) or out on the Quidditch pitch, in the Great Hall, or even the common room.

'_Okay..._' Colin thought to himself; he was beginning to think that Harry had been tricked into doing something by Voldemort (again, honestly does that boy ever learn?). Colin sighed. '_I guess I'll just have to save him._'

He was about to run into his dormitory to get his James Bond outfit on (a necessity when doing spy work) and start his search and rescue mission for Harry. But, as he was running, who would he happen to run into but, the one-and-only One of the Millions of Boys Who Live Everyday (A/N: also known as Harry Potter honestly did you guys not read the last chapter?).

'_Damn it!_' thought Harry. "Oh, hey Colin!"

"Hiya Harry. I was just about to come looking for you; didn't know where you were, you see. I thought you were hurt or Voldemort got you even though you'd kick his ass... you always do! Anyway, I was just going to go put my spy outfit on so I could save you but seeing as you don't need any saving can I ask you for a picture?" Colin said excitedly and as quickly as possible.

"Oh... I was just looking for Dean. I mean, Ginny... no Dean. Oh, screw it! I'm looking for both of them." Harry said. After stopping for a minute to actually process what Colin had said... "NO! YOU CANNOT HAVE ANY MORE PICTURES OF ME! I DON'T CARE WHAT SHRINE OR MONUMENT YOU'RE TRYING TO FINISH! NO! NEVER EVER AGAIN! THE LAST TIME I GAVE YOU A PICTURE YOU USED THAT MUGGLE PHOTOSHOP TO PUT MY HEAD ON OLIVER WOOD'S BODY AND IT ENDED UP IN THE DAILY PROPHET! NEVER AGAIN, COLIN, NEVER AGAIN!"

Colin's eyes widened in shock and welled up with tears. Harry, being the smart guy he is, noticed this. "Oh, I'm sorry Colin... don't cry!"

"Harry, could I do something to you?" Colin asked, tears slowly stopping.

Harry's eyes widened. "Um... it depends..."

"You see Harry - I don't know if you are aware of this - but it's Pass the Snog Day and..." Colin began.

"Oh." Harry chuckled, "Sorry Colin, I've already had the snog. Ginny snogged me and I snogged Dean."

'_What!_' Colin thought, '_he snogged another man... but I thought what we had was special!_' He gave Harry a glare even though Harry didn't notice and stomped off.

"Bye Colin!" Harry said, shrugging and returning to search for Dean and or Ginny.

'_Okay Colin, just calm down_...' the boy told himself, '_you'll find someone else to snog. It'll be easy as pie! I mean, who wouldn't want to snog a fine specimen of man such as yourself?_'

As Colin entered the common room, he saw Hermione in an armchair in the corner doing what else, but reading.

"Uh... Excuse me, Hermione, but you wouldn't happen to remember who Harry snogged last year, would you?"

"Yeah... Parvati Patil." She said, looking suspiciously at Colin, "Why?"

"No reason, thanks a bunch!" said Colin as he hurriedly left the common.

"Boys..." Hermione sighed and continued reading.

'_Okay, Colin.'_ He thought to himself, '_Your mission is to snog Parvati Patil. But how? How? Ah! I've got it! WWCAD? What would Charlie's Angels do?' _Colin smirked and set off on his way.

- - -

"Is that... what I think it is?"

"Yeah... it is."

"Uhm... George, what have we done?"

"Well... we've, apparently, let the infatuation potion mix into the pass the snog potion. That's what we've done! Now everyone will obsess over the person they snog and and... oh man... Fred, we've gotta find an antidote. Ginny's going to obsess over Harry... Blaise is going love Ginny... We're going to have love tri... wait... not triangles. FRED! THIS IS BIGGER THAN TRIANGLES!"

"Bigger than triangles!"

"Yes! It is as big as nonagons!"

"TO THE OFFICE!"

- - -

Colin, in full super sexy spy mode (well, as close as possible because after all, it is Colin) went looking for Ron who he eventually found, making out with Lavender. Colin poked Ron, tapped Ron and finally slapped Ron in the back of the head which resulted in Ron surfacing for air.

"Oh, hello Colin. What can I do for you?" Ron said, still trying to catch his breath.

"Actually, I didn't really want to talk to you. Unless, of course, you've got any pictures of Harry I can…." '_No Colin... focus' _he said to himself. "Actually, I wanted to ask Lavender a question."

"Oh."

"Hee hee, um yes?" Lavender said in the perky cheerleader voice that makes me (the author) want to kill her.

"Would you happen to know where I can find Parvati?" Colin questioned.

"Totally. She's like, with her sister in the library. You know they like never get any time together anymore so, yeah!" (A/N: resisting urge to strangle)

"Thanks a bunch!" Colin said and headed toward the library.

- - -

Ginny, who was doing her best to stalk Harry, was hiding in a corner while Harry had a chat with Hermione. She was asking him all these questions about why Harry wanted to find Dean so badly and interrogating him in her oh so threatening way.

Ginny was standing there, envying Hermione since she had the capability to talk to Harry without sounding like an idiot, when a hand grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. She went to scream but a hand covered her mouth.

Ginny turned and saw that she was face to face with the one-and-only Blaise Zabini. She groaned into his hand, which he had released, though his hand on her shoulder remained.

"Now hear me out." Blaise said desperately, "Ginny, this isn't a joke. It's not like Draco put me up to this or something because I mean, of all people, why would he want me to pick you? Anyway, I just haven't been able to stop thinking about you since our snog in the Hospital Wing and I know Pansy is in love with me – God, she won't leave me alone – but... I love you. Did you ever have that Ginny? Where someone just can't take a hint that you're not into them in that way so they keep following you no matter what? Because, if so, can you tell me how to get rid of her? Please? I just want to spend more time with you."

Ginny contemplated being nice to him but she remembered what had happened last time she had done that. "Why, yes Blaise. I have had people like that. The worst part is when you tell them you're in love with someone else but they just don't take the hint."

"Exactly!" Blaise said nodding in agreement.

"And you want to know the best way to get rid of them?" Ginny asked. Blaise nodded in return. "You do this." Ginny said, turning around and walking away with Blaise standing silently, his mouth agape and tears welling up in his eyes.

- - -

Colin made his way to the library and found the Patil twins with their heads huddled together, deep in discussion, giggling. Colin couldn't help but smile; he loved to see siblings get along. And then Colin began to do one of the most dreaded things on Earth. Yes... he began... to think.

'_Good morning, angels.' _

'_Actually, it's afternoon, Charlie.'_

'_Right then, good afternoon angels.'_

'_Good afternoon, Charlie!'_

'_Today's mission is to snog our target: Parvati Patil. By doing so, gain some of the precious Harry Potter DNA.' _

'_You got it, Charlie.'_

'_Good luck angels!'_

'_Thank you Charlie.' _

- End corny parody -

'_Okay Colin, all you have to do is go up and snog her. That's it, you can do this!_' Colin said, making a feeble attempt to psyche himself up.

Colin pulled up his pants and marched up to Parvati. "Excuse me, did you snog Harry Potter last year during Pass the Snog day?"

Parvati thought hard, "Um yeah, I guess I did." sounding shocked. "Why?"

"This is why." Said Colin as he pulled her into a snog, which is where he proceeded to shove his tongue down her throat. Parvati choked and her sister Padma looked on in horror.

Parvati pushed Colin away from her and slapped him across the face. "Don't you EVER do that again!"

"Wow, was he really that bad?" Padma asked.

"Let me just say that I don't envy Potter, if he got snogged by that git last year." Parvati said (ouch poor Colin).

Colin was both extremely happy and extremely sad, '_I got Harry's saliva, I can taste the hero!_' He smiled wide. '_But do I really snog that bad?' _he left the library very confused.

- - -

"Oh that poor girl!" Fred exclaimed.

George rushed in from the side room where he had been searching for information about the potion. "What!"

"Colin snogged Parvati!"

George's face twisted in disgust. "OH THAT POOR GIRL!"

"Yeah... although, on the bright side, we've gotten that whole incest scene out of our heads!"

"... And now it's back."

**A/N: thanks everyone sooo much, again for being so nice and reading and reviewing and guessing. My co-author and I were thinking of doing the often overdone Truth or Dare fic? What do you guys think? Yes or no? Suggestions on either this fic or the possible Truth or Dare would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!**

**CA/N: uhm, were we? I don't remember thinking of doing that. Hm... damn you bad memory. Anyway, I THINK EVERYONE NEEDS TO GIVE MAJOR PROPS TO THE AUTHOR FOR NOT TALKING FOR ONE ENTIRE WEEK. She was told to shut up by her German teacher and she didn't talk for a week and I'm very proud of her. hugs oh wait she's allergic to hugs... Anyway, REVIEWW! And sorry this chapter took a long time, it was due to my laziness. If it weren't for that, this chapter would've been up a week ago. And this shall be my last co-authors note so FAREWELL, dear readers and reviewers! bye XD**

**REVIEW**.

A/N: the only reason she is stopping co authoring is because she is lazy, soooooooooooo if you want her to continue then please in your next review tell her how much you care. If not she'll go back to just betaing…. So please show your love for my wonderful co author and tell her to keep writing!


	17. The Drama Begins

**A/N: I want to thank everyone who reviewed asking my lovely co-author to stay. I'll let her tell you what she decided to do, but thank you all; all the reviews were really sweet. **

**CA/N: I've decided to stay. It was all because of your beautiful reviews that touched me very much. I didn't know I was so needed. ... ANYWAY, this chapter is dedicated to anyone who begged me to stay. I love you too. And now, I bring you chapter 17!  
**  
**Chapter 17: The Drama Begins  
**  
Parvati watched as Colin happily walked (well, it was more of prance to tell you the truth) out of the library. She rolled her eyes in disgust. "That... was just gross."

"I agree." Padma said though secretly smirking at the image of her sister being snogged, okay more like choked, by Colin.

"Are you laughing at me?" she asked distrustfully.

"Of course not." Padma replied. At this point, she had burst into laughter with tears dripping from her eyes. Parvati stared at her sibling in aversion who had then, attempted to explain herself.   
"Well, you got to admit... it was... hilarious." She exploded into another fit of giggles

Parvati gasped. "You foul loathsome evil little cockroach!** (A/N: I'm sorry I had to do it)**" She picked up her textbooks and walked away angrily, heading towards another table across the library. Padma shrugged, 'She'll get over it soon.'

"AHH!"

A random scream erupted in the library. Padma turned and saw her sister, lying on the floor with parchment scattered around her. She gasped. 

"Parvati! You okay?" Padma exclaimed as she made her way over to her.

Parvati groaned. "Yeah, I'm good. I slipped on that folder over there though." Padma turned her head to where Parvati had been pointing. She picked up the folder and stood up, only to be directly in the face of none other than, a very red and very angry Madam Pince.

"You two trouble makers, GET OUT THIS INSTANT!" Madam Pince squealed; which resulted in a resounding "SHHHHHH" from the surrounding tables.

Parvati and Padma left the library giggling as they headed toward the Great Hall.

- - -

Fred and George were scrambling around their workshop looking through books to see what exactly the infatuation potion would do to the whole Pass the Snog day. They were also looking for possible antidotes.

George paled, "Uh, Fred…"

"Yes, George?"

"Read this..." said George; handing his twin a book that they had filled with reactions, side effects, and results of every potion they made.

Fred turned so white his freckles began to vanish, "Side effects include green nose hair and an inexplicable feel the urge for chocolate covered pickles. Along with that... any time limits on other potions will... disappear."

"So, you mean that they won't be infatuated just until the end of the day... and it'll last forever?"

"Yeah."

George gulped, "I really think we need to find an antidote now."

- - -

The Patil twins were hunched over the folder at the Gryffindor table in the Great hall.

Parvati slowly read aloud to her sister "If you do not pass the snog in the allowed time ones teeth shall drop out, thy skin shall wrinkle, thou shalt have boils on thy bottom and be subject to night sweats ringing in the ears, falling sickness, flaking dandruff, arthritis, lumbago, uncontrollable dribbling, deafness, runny nose, and ingrown toenails." Her eyes widened as she slowly turned to her sister.

"Um, Padma?"

"Yes?"

"How much time do I have?"

"10 minutes..."

Parvati gulped.

- - -

Ginny left Blaise feeling a little sorry for the guy, but she didn't really care; all that she cared about was finding Harry. As she entered Gryffindor common room she was relieved to find Harry talking with Dean.

Ginny approached Harry and Dean who were sitting on a coach facing the empty fire, as she did so Harry smiled. '_I will remain standing.' _Ginny told herself _'In fact, I'll do better then that; I'll even go talk to him.' _She concluded.

"Hey Harry."

"Hi." Harry gulped.

"Hey Dean, could you excuse us for a bit?" Ginny asked ever so politely.

Dean made a move to get up Harry was torn. He liked Ginny, a lot but he was having fun talking with Dean. '_I mean who knew talking about boring old muggle stuff could be so much fun!'_ Harry said to himself.

"Dean, wait, please don't leave." Harry said in a voice just above a whisper.

"But Harry," Ginny pleaded, "We need to talk... about us."

Dean stood, frozen in place - not sure whether to leave or stay - his eyes wide at the scene, which stood before him.

"But, Ginny, I was in the middle of a fascinating conversation with Dean. I think it's rude that just because you come in the room, Dean has to leave." Harry said confronting Ginny, "And who said I wanted to talk to you anyway?" Harry mumbled.

Ginny's eyes widened along with Dean's; her eyes slowly beginning to water.

"Well, Harry, who is it?" Ginny said frantically, "Who would you rather spend time with... Dean or me?"

- - -

Parvati's eyes darted back and forth across the Great Hall; looking for someone anyone snogable. Padma followed her twin's gaze, she too searching for someone to save her sister.

"5 minutes Par!"

"I know, I KNOW!"

"Par..." Padma said urging her sister on.

Parvati grabbed her sister and turned her to face her, "I _know_ alright! I know I have to snog someone, but WHO IN THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU SEE IN THIS HALL THAT IS WORTHY OF ONE OF THE PATENTED PATIL TWIN SNOGS? Who? WHO?" She asked frantically.

Padma looked around. "EXACTLY!" Parvati said breaking down.

"I do know _someone..._" Padma said.

"Oh yea, who? Who-" but Parvati never got to finish her question because her lips were caught in a passionate snog with her dear twin's.

- - -

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"What is it George?" Fred asked, back turned from the Wall of Snogness.

"It's…. it's awful! AWFUL! I just got the Creevey's out of my head and now this! OH THE AGONY!" George said rocking back and forth in a fetal position.

Fred rushed over to his twin, "What is it?"

'The twincest…. the twincest, it's EVERYWHERE!"

"It's okay George; we'll make the antidote and then pretend that none of this ever happened." Fred said trying to comfort his twin.

George slowly nodded - still rocking back and forth. He wiped away his tears and looked up at his brother. "You know you still owe me a mongoose, right?"

- - -

As the Patil twins continued to snog, a certain figure appeared in their midst.

"What _is _this? National Incest Day?" Snape questioned. "Did I miss some kind of memo? Oh, who cares! 20 points from Gryffindor and 20 from Ravenclaw as well!"

- - -

"Well Harry, who is it? Dean or me?" Ginny asked pleadingly.

"Harry, really, it's okay. I wanted to go find Seamus anyway. You don't have to pick me, really." Dean said understanding.

"Well, come on Harry, pick wisely." Ginny said as the Gryffindor common room went silent.

All eyes were on the Boy Who Lived, who was currently standing between his lover (Ginny) and the boy he had suddenly grown fascinated with (Dean).

Harry opened his mouth to speak, "Well…"

A/N: I know evil aren't I, I couldn't resist, I'm sorry guys. The reason I stopped here is because this could really go either way in my mind, so I want to hear what you guys have to say. (Not that that means I'll actually do what you guys want, I just want to know what you want.) Also spinner and I decided we will do a Truth or Dare fic. We are currently working on it; I could always use good ideas for truths or dares. We will probably post the new fic when we are ¾ done with this one, unless there are objections. Thank you for all the reviews I love you all, you all get Cheez-It's and Lamb Butter! Don't Forget to R and R, you have no idea how much fun we have talking about all your crazy reviews at school, it makes learning almost bearable!

CA/N: twincest and cliffies, gotta love them. Anyway, sorry this chapter took over a month to come but hey, I was grounded all of March for... ehm, cutting class too many times cough So yeah. FINALLY chapter 17 arrived and we hope you enjoyed it. Uhmm... T/D fic coming up soon and again, thanks for those reviews. hehe. Loved them.

Go review again. )


	18. Choices

Chapter 18 …Choices 

**A/N: okay I'm unbelievably sorry that I haven't updated sooner, I've been traveling without technology. (Florida Massachutes, Delaware) and I haven't gotten a chance to even think about writing. Also I've received some reviews saying that my author's notes are annoying and too long etc. WELL…my a/n's are always in bold if they really annoy you that much DON'T READ THEM! It's okay, you will not miss anything, normally, otherwise please don't criticize my a/n's I put them in there just to make me and spinner laugh, you don't have to read them and generally they are very easy to ignore…. I'm really sorry if there are really bad errors in grammar in spelling but I haven't been able to get a hold of spinner and I really wanted to post this so please forgive me! Anyway to the rest of ya'll I'm really sorry it took so long, you might want to go back and reread chapter 17, please enjoy and R and R.**

"Oh my god!" Padma exclaimed after the siblings broke apart. "I have the snog! I have the snog! PARVATI, I HAVE THE SNOG!" She twirled around in a dreamlike state thinking about all of the boys she could snog. '_The possibilities are endless.'_

Parvati replied, as if reading her thoughts (being twins they did this a lot) "What possibilities?" she gestured to the Great Hall where they were currently located. Padma looked around, it was full of boys drooling over their performance and a bunch of first years who were in shock.

"Good luck with that," Parvati said over her shoulder as she exited the hall.

"SO NOT COOL SIS, SOO NOT COOL!" Padma turned to face the crowd in the hall; she saw them and was about to turn and follow her sister when she got tackled from behind.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Said a voice behind her

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Fred and George scurried around their workshop, repeatedly bumping into each other. They shoved about 20 things into a small vial, heated it in a muggle microwave and add some tofu and spray cheese for flavor.

"George, quick write a note to Hermione explaining everything, she's gonna kill us but oh well." Said Fred frantically.

"Righto," said George.

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"Gimme the snog, gimme the snog!" said the voice on Padma's back.

"Well, I don't how many people you've snogged before, but in order to snog there generally needs to be mouth to mouth contact, but hey if you know something I don't about snogging mouth to back, go right ahead," stated Padma.

"I know _plenty _about snogging thank you very much," said the voice as Padma felt the weight lift off her back.

Padma rolled over on the Great Hall floor _"do the house elves ever clean here,"_ she thought as her hand landed in some gum. Padma picked herself up and looked at her mysterious attacker and her mouth fell open.

"Surprised?"

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"Well…." Harry gulped, "you see…I, I mean we…and then you….but he….and umm….I…really" _'Very smooth Harry, just keep mumbling and one of them will leave and you won't have to pick'_

"Really Harry if you don't want to say it I'll just leave," Dean said heading toward the dormitories.

"If you don't pick, Mr. Potter, you can forget about that snog and you can forget about me!" Ginny said.

With this Ginny turned to leave out the portrait hole, Harry was stuck.

"Wait…" Harry said with a sigh, "I'll pick…."

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Hermione was sitting in…the library **(A/N: big shock there)** when Dennis Creevey ran into her.

"Hermi…. Herm…Heeee." he said breathlessly as he fell down, his arm rose up and handed her a letter.

"Thank you Dennis, but how did you get this?" Hermione questioned.

"I was up in the Owlrey looking for Collin, have you seen him anywhere by the way?" Hermione shook her head "anyway I was looking for him when this owl came in and started flying in circles, I think it was crazy, or at least it's owners are, so anyway it just dropped the letter there in the middle of the Owlrey floor and left, so I picked it up and decided I should give it to you." Dennis finished.

"Well thank you," Hermione said again as she opened the letter.

"Are you sure you haven't seen Collin, because I really need, to find him, I have the perfect picture for him…. I don't know what happened I guess it's a Slytherin thing, but Pansy, Crabbe, and Blaise all have really long green nose hair and they're sitting in the entrance hall eating platefuls of chocolate covered pickles. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen…WAIT maybe Harry will know where Collin is, or maybe Collin's stalking Harry, I gotta go, bye Mione!" said Dennis as he left to a loud 'SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH' from Madame Pince.

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"LAVENDER!" Padma said with a shriek, "WHY WERE YOU ON TOP OF ME!"

"Because silly I heard you have the snog and _I _want it, so hand it over," Lavender said putting her hands on her hips.

"Why on Earth would you want the snog, it's a pain in the butt, I mean I have no idea who to snog and you know I don't want all that bad stuff to happen…" Padma started.

"Well that won't be a problem because I know who to snog and you are going to snog me, so there, problem solved! Ready," Lavender said leaning toward Padma.

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Harry cleared his throat and began, "I think I am going to choose…."

Hermione burst into the common room "HARRY LET ME SEE YOUR NOSE, QUICK!" without asking Hermione grabbed Harry's nose and jerked his head upward.

"OUCH…. My nose is still _attached _to my face you know?" Harry whimpered.

Hermione released Harry's nasal cavity and breathed a sigh of relief, she took a deep breath and looked around, the whole common room was looking at her, waiting for some sort of explanation which Hermione was not about to provide, "Has anyone seen the Draco and his idiots?"

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"You know Fred, I'm sort of hoping that Hermione doesn't cure the Slytherins, boy I'd love to see Crabbe with green nose hair." Fred said looking to his twin who was sitting in an identical lounge chair.

"Yea, we've always know he's had it but now it will be out there for everyone to see," agreed George

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"No," said Harry, "anyway," he said turning back to Ginny and Dean, " I decided to pick Ginny…no offense Dean. "

"None taken, I'm off to find Seamus," he said as he exited.

"Oh Harry this is wonderful!" yelped Ginny and she reached out to hug him, but when she closed her arms there was no one there.

Hermione was dragging Harry down to the Entrance Hall, she handed Harry the letter, Harry's eyes widened.

"And you're saying that the Slytherins-"

"Yes, that's why we have to find them Harry, Fred and George sent me an antidote." Hermione said.

"Have you tried the Great Hall, maybe they wanted more chocolate covered pickles," Harry said jokingly.

"Good idea," Hermione said grabbing Harry's robes and pulling him into the Great Hall, which was oddly silent.

Harry's eyes landed on two people in the isle or the Gryffindor table. There were Lavender and Padma snogging like there was no tomorrow. Ron walked up to Hermione and Harry from the table.

"They've been at it for about 5 minutes," he said, mainly to Harry.

The two finally broke apart Hermione turned to her two friends, "You guys can close your mouths now, they're done." She turned and left the Great Hall, still searching for Slytherins.

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The twins' eye's widened.

"Sooo not fair," Fred whined.

"What's not fair?" sighed George

"That's 2 times in a row it's been girl kissing girl, why couldn't we have been there?"

"You are sooo shallow, no wonder why you can never get a date," said George as a pillow hit his face.

**A/N: ta da, sorry if it stunk, I sorta need to get back into the swing of things and find all my plot notes…please R and R to make me feel good about myself!**


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